Heartiste is a clever bird and seems to have very real experience with women.
However, as any great man can do, he makes generalizations based on his own perspective. Since you attract what you attract, he attracts manipulative women and actually PLAYS THEIR GAME.
In the situation above, for example, I would have called the girl out on her fucking bullshit and demanded she have a real conversation with me. Maybe I could have gotten her crying. Maybe I could have found the real person beneath the veneer.
I am not interested in playing games, I only play them as a seduction tool to get to the real person beneath. And that is my forte.
Never underestimate the power of candor. Candor is a great word and it really expresses how a real man should be interacting; not just with women, but for himself with everyone. This is how you filter out everybody who disagrees with you and inhabit your authentic self.
It becomes easier, after a while, and can in fact result in much more powerful “reactions” from people than if one were to play games.
Case in point:
One time my newfound-love was sitting on the couch blabbering about my lack of Facebook presence. She wanted to know what I did for a living, she thought I was a liar.
I told her, honestly, that I was done playing games and that I just wanted to have love. I wanted to have something “real.” Tears came to my eyes. I really felt like crying, and I couldn’t explain it. So I let the tears flow and made sure the words out of my mouth were honest.
And I knew this would “work.” And it did. Suddenly her eyes lit up and her mouth hung open a bit, and it was like she was awestruck. She grabbed me by the shoulders and said “Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” She kept saying she was sorry and pecking me on the cheek, and then she invited me upstairs and we lay in bed and talked.
I never had a problem with the Facebook thing again.
Heartiste knocks the “player” character in this example for being candid and getting defensive. But it has been repeatedly demonstrated by science and by Heartiste’s own psychological posts that not backing down and being persistent is a fervent display or confidence. It is better than giving in and especially better than apologizing (which you should never do).
I never apologize about anything ever and I can’t say I have ever suffered for it.
Anyway, my point is that being candid and open and honest and expressing the true self will naturally filter out incompatible women, and this is a GOOD thing. Chris from Goodlookingloser calls it “Screening“.
Although in Chris’ case he screens physically for immediate sexual availability, which may or may not be in your best interest if you are looking for relationships.
It’s not hard to see Heartiste’s obvious modus operandi–his ridiculous and endless amount of posts analyzing the “alphaness” of photographs and emails and articles and pointing out all the flaws and errors reeks of a mind that is too smart for its own good and constant attempts at self-justification. I would know. I did the same thing myself for quite a while on many different forums and it is transparent to me now that I was trying to overcompensate for a lack of confidence in myself because I was attempting to measure up against roles and standards that weren’t in my nature.
It is possible to change your nature, but attempting to conceal it or act a part can result in being inauthentic.
You’re walking down the street and you see a pretty blonde. Your natural instinct is to go up and say something. But you consciously decide you need to act “aloof.” And then during conversation with her instead of being candid about a simple question she asks, such as “What are you up to?” you say “Nothing much” and turn to look to the side, acting aloof and disinterested.
Even if she doesn’t see through this, you will feel like little bugs are eating away at you. To sustain this mask will not make you feel good. It will be downright uncomfortable. And when the girl loses interest, say by mentioning “I have to go now, it was nice talking to you!” then it will be your fault for playing a role instead of just letting the girl see your fervor and eagerness and the real deal.
Author xsplat really talks up this concept of the “high-energy man” and it’s a good place to start. Not everyone is high energy, but I was born that way.
I was born to be wild.
In fact there are a dozen other titles for my website I could have picked. The “Rebel” is mostly an image and a front.
As I’ve said before, being rebellious is still an attachment to the very thing you are rebelling against, and the key is to focus on you, not focus on rebellion. Focusing on what you WANT to do makes you a natural rebel, but the focus should not be rebellion.
Don’t fall to the level of your enemy.
But in my life I have found that rebellion against every rule or concept or precedent was necessary. As Mike from Danger and Play mentions, at first you will feel great shame. But after a while the shame will be replaced with something:
Rebellion for its own sake
To follow one’s own rules requires initial rebellion against everything.
Only when you have broken apart your perception toward every single idea can you begin to forge your own REAL experience.
You are not rebelling against rules without a cause.
REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE IMAGE AND CAPTION AND LINK
The average idiot doesn’t know how to do this. They won’t see any benefit unless there is some tangible reward.
But take it from me.
I’ve gotten myself into a lot of trouble [link to borderline article].
But I can handle all sorts of situations that most people would bend over for. I’ve been through hell and I’m still going through hell but I can take it.
Every single bad situation you find yourself in is an opportunity to feed the Fire.
I’m talking about that fervor for life that makes it worth living. To make you feel alive! You can actually become more powerful by getting yourself into trouble [link to temptation article].
Especially with women, you don’t have to play their game. I encourage conflict with women and I encourage you to go ahead and be defensive or attentive. Stop playing aloof and stop pretending to be great. Instead, focus on your desire.
This is a principle used in business.
It is NOT about how great your business is.
It’s about how you can serve people’s NEEDS.
And women have a far greater need for emotion and, yes, sex, than they do fame or riches or games or manipulation.
You can “be yourself”–but that will mean inviting conflict.
And that’s good. That might lose you the girl.
But it will make YOU a stronger person.