Using anxiety to control your woman

It’s not even a conscious thing. It’s not even quite instinct.

In the moment you are distinctly aware of the effect it will bring, but as you do it you must be doing it out of an inner desire of will.

As a careful observer of your own actions, which will happen after a fashion if you are an aware and manipulative person, then you will see both your innate tendency and the result it will effect.

Most (if not nearly all) of the women in my life have been easily manipulated by the “abandonment trigger.”

Long ago, I heard it said that alpha males “know when to walk away.”

It’s true. And even when you aren’t really ready to walk away, just forcing yourself to do it can often set your woman off.

The only thing you cannot do is expect this to always work. Not all women will love it and it won’t work every time, even if it works most of the time.

But don’t be afraid to employ it liberally, if you really want to. If a woman ain’t treating you how you want, just fucking walk.

Don’t matter if it’s right. Don’t matter if it’s wrong.

Don’t matter if you are acting or arrogant, or if you’re nice. If it’s what you want to do, then do it.

Walking away builds great character and it sets you up as the one in power. If women don’t chase, then fuck ’em. If they do, then make sure they are on their better behavior.

Unfortunately, with psycho women (like with borderline personality disorder) this trigger will make them fucking chase you down, grab onto you in the middle of the street crying your name, and call you 50 times in a row.

A more normal woman with boundaries will get indignant or be a little more coy in her approach to win you back.

Or maybe not.

It’s hard to kick women out of your apartment if they don’t want to go.

But I digress.

Walking away, ESPECIALLY when your woman is in disbelief or trying to call you out on your arrogance or ego or trying to trash you, will be the best thing you can do for yourself.

The benefits of making women crazy is only a secondary bonus.

You don’t use this as a tactic to make the woman acquiesce. Don’t EXPECT her to chase. Don’t dick around and “pretend” to leave UNLESS you are really good at this.

Unless she is a having a psychotic episode, she may see through your actions.

So at least some of the time, after you walk out on a woman, assuming you want to see her again, go home no matter what and don’t follow up with her for at least a couple days.

Just ignore her and make her obsess a bit before you come back. This is what really grinds the salt into the wound. This is what causes her major anxiety, and keeps her in line.

Now, NOTHING will ultimately keep a crazy chick in tow. You can make her submissive but even a batshit crazy girl will break free no matter how good you are at this.

Especially if the woman is a borderline, then half the time she will be glad you walked away. Even though you know she’ll call you again the next day.

But the bottom line is this:

You’ve gotta learn to walk away, and follow through no matter how you feel.

There WILL be times where you walk away from a date feeling shitty and wanting her back. But you gotta power through it anyway.

At worst, she was a bitch anyway.

At best, you will see her again sure enough so go home and do something more fun.

If you’ve forgotten how to walk away, then try it.

Next time any girl is being a bitch, call her out on it. Even if it’s something simple or trivial that bothers you.

 

And then if it won’t stop, you walk away.

See how good it feels.

Yeah, it’s manipulative as fuck. And that’s okay. Everything is manipulation. That’s life.

You don’t have to respect anybody or suck up to anyone. You can walk away on a dime if you want, and it’s that attitude that actually makes you more attractive anyway.

But like I said, at heart this is really about you. Not just about them.

If you can really walk away for YOU, then this will twice as effective.

This is not a technique or method, so much as this is a behavior that builds a certain attitude.

That attitude is this:

“Take it or leave it.”

In a world where women seem to demand impossibly high standards, you as the man are entitled to the same and more.

We men are just as powerful as women. If not more so.

You are a MAN, and she submits to YOU.

Any woman that doesn’t play along? You walk. It’s that simple.

Over time, this builds up your surety in your male power, and women will come crawling back.

Because they crave a powerful man, even if the only power he has is simply putting them in their place.

They will cry and scream and insult you, but at the end of the day if they want to play ball in your court, then they’d better follow YOUR rules.

It seems most men are busy following their women’s rules.

“I have to talk to my fiance first.”

“My wife handles the bills.”

“My girlfriend would never let me do that.”

I feel sick inside when I hear grown men say shit like that.

Let’s flip that around.

Next time a girl tells you what to do (her “rules”) then you turn it around and just give her one of your own.

She might lose her shit. And that’s when you tell her to shut up or suck your dick.

If she continues her bitching, you just walk away.

 

Go do whatever it is you used to think you needed her permission for. And then don’t apologize for it. It’s your life. She doesn’t control you.

Truth be told, if you just live as you please then you’re not controlling the women. They let themselves be controlled. It’s like they want to be under your spell.

Just remember the golden rule of pussy control:

“She can take it or leave it.”

 

Love,
James Mast

The Rebel Within

The Rebel is an idea.

The Rebel is what’s emerging beneath the surface. It’s a being, a character you create to replace the old you, the one mired by layers of conditioning and untruth by the world and its media and technology and its ignorant people.

You slowly rebel against the world until you begin to uncover the REAL YOU beneath it all.

It’s the heart of what I made this site about.

 

Beneath it all…beneath all beliefs and systems of thinking that you subscribe to.

You read things on the net and they make sense. They seem to be true. But do not actually know and they provide comfort where you have none.

When you follow a system to think for you, then you have rules and righteous purpose. You have concepts and ideals, such as “saving the world” or changing it to your own vision of utopia, or being too honest, when honesty is not always a virtue. You become consumed with ego or “respect.”

 

These things are all only illusions, designed to distract you from trusting your own intuition and true self.

 

Beneath all the awkward, casual social interactions. Beneath the light, airy, surface world that everyone pretends is real.

Beneath it is the underworld.

It is a red river, a current of distaste.

You are not satisfied with the status quo. You are uncomfortable with your place in it. You want to push the limits.

 

But to be an effective rebel, you must have a REASON. It can’t just be for guts and glory.

Those things will never build your soul.

You’ve got to have a selfish reason to push yourself through the barriers of the System. Your goals, the things you really desire, those are enough at first. You take ahold of them and then you FIGHT.

 

But fighting wears you down after a while, and you run the risk of turning into the enemy.

Deep down, despite all you’ve been told, despite the hard knocks you’ve taken, you are something special.

There’s a power in the background, awaiting your total surrender. It calls to you. It tugs at you like a nightmare every damn day and every time you fail to do what you want to do. What you set out to do.

This thing is NOT the thing that you fight.

This thing is the Rebel.

The Rebel is your emerging soul.

 

Beneath it all, beneath this human shell, you have a heart of rebellion.

You rebel in order to find your soul, the origin of yourself. And then you hold onto that power and don’t let anybody take it from you. And you don’t let imposters like your old self take it either.

You are a rebel to the core.

Attract women by being a human being

Heartiste is a clever bird and seems to have very real experience with women.

However, as any great man can do, he makes generalizations based on his own perspective. Since you attract what you attract, he attracts manipulative women and actually PLAYS THEIR GAME.

In the situation above, for example, I would have called the girl out on her fucking bullshit and demanded she have a real conversation with me. Maybe I could have gotten her crying. Maybe I could have found the real person beneath the veneer.

I am not interested in playing games, I only play them as a seduction tool to get to the real person beneath. And that is my forte.

Never underestimate the power of candor. Candor is a great word and it really expresses how a real man should be interacting; not just with women, but for himself with everyone. This is how you filter out everybody who disagrees with you and inhabit your authentic self.

It becomes easier, after a while, and can in fact result in much more powerful “reactions” from people than if one were to play games.

Case in point:

One time my newfound-love was sitting on the couch blabbering about my lack of Facebook presence. She wanted to know what I did for a living, she thought I was a liar.

I told her, honestly, that I was done playing games and that I just wanted to have love. I wanted to have something “real.” Tears came to my eyes. I really felt like crying, and I couldn’t explain it. So I let the tears flow and made sure the words out of my mouth were honest.

And I knew this would “work.” And it did. Suddenly her eyes lit up and her mouth hung open a bit, and it was like she was awestruck. She grabbed me by the shoulders and said “Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” She kept saying she was sorry and pecking me on the cheek, and then she invited me upstairs and we lay in bed and talked.

I never had a problem with the Facebook thing again.

Heartiste knocks the “player” character in this example for being candid and getting defensive. But it has been repeatedly demonstrated by science and by Heartiste’s own psychological posts that not backing down and being persistent is a fervent display or confidence. It is better than giving in and especially better than apologizing (which you should never do).

I never apologize about anything ever and I can’t say I have ever suffered for it.

Anyway, my point is that being candid and open and honest and expressing the true self will naturally filter out incompatible women, and this is a GOOD thing. Chris from Goodlookingloser calls it “Screening“.

Although in Chris’ case he screens physically for immediate sexual availability, which may or may not be in your best interest if you are looking for relationships.

 

It’s not hard to see Heartiste’s obvious modus operandi–his ridiculous and endless amount of posts analyzing the “alphaness” of photographs and emails and articles and pointing out all the flaws and errors reeks of a mind that is too smart for its own good and constant attempts at self-justification. I would know. I did the same thing myself for quite a while on many different forums and it is transparent to me now that I was trying to overcompensate for a lack of confidence in myself because I was attempting to measure up against roles and standards that weren’t in my nature.

It is possible to change your nature, but attempting to conceal it or act a part can result in being inauthentic.

Consider this:

You’re walking down the street and you see a pretty blonde. Your natural instinct is to go up and say something. But you consciously decide you need to act “aloof.” And then during conversation with her instead of being candid about a simple question she asks, such as “What are you up to?” you say “Nothing much” and turn to look to the side, acting aloof and disinterested.

Even if she doesn’t see through this, you will feel like little bugs are eating away at you. To sustain this mask will not make you feel good. It will be downright uncomfortable. And when the girl loses interest, say by mentioning “I have to go now, it was nice talking to you!” then it will be your fault for playing a role instead of just letting the girl see your fervor and eagerness and the real deal.

Author xsplat really talks up this concept of the “high-energy man” and it’s a good place to start. Not everyone is high energy, but I was born that way.

I was born to be wild.

In fact there are a dozen other titles for my website I could have picked. The “Rebel” is mostly an image and a front.

As I’ve said before, being rebellious is still an attachment to the very thing you are rebelling against, and the key is to focus on you, not focus on rebellion. Focusing on what you WANT to do makes you a natural rebel, but the focus should not be rebellion.

Don’t fall to the level of your enemy.

But in my life I have found that rebellion against every rule or concept or precedent was necessary. As Mike from Danger and Play mentions, at first you will feel great shame. But after a while the shame will be replaced with something:

Clarity.

Rebellion for its own sake

To follow one’s own rules requires initial rebellion against everything.

Only when you have broken apart your perception toward every single idea can you begin to forge your own REAL experience.

You are not rebelling against rules without a cause.

REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE IMAGE AND CAPTION AND LINK

Your own inner fire will keep you continually rebelling to build strength.

The average idiot doesn’t know how to do this. They won’t see any benefit unless there is some tangible reward.

But take it from me.

I’ve gotten myself into a lot of trouble [link to borderline article].

But I can handle all sorts of situations that most people would bend over for. I’ve been through hell and I’m still going through hell but I can take it.

Every single bad situation you find yourself in is an opportunity to feed the Fire.

I’m talking about that fervor for life that makes it worth living. To make you feel alive! You can actually become more powerful by getting yourself into trouble [link to temptation article].

Especially with women, you don’t have to play their game. I encourage conflict with women and I encourage you to go ahead and be defensive or attentive. Stop playing aloof and stop pretending to be great. Instead, focus on your desire.

This is a principle used in business.

It is NOT about how great your business is.

It’s about how you can serve people’s NEEDS.

And women have a far greater need for emotion and, yes, sex, than they do fame or riches or games or manipulation.

You can “be yourself”–but that will mean inviting conflict.

And that’s good. That might lose you the girl.

But it will make YOU a stronger person.

Not all women are manipulative cunts

not-all-women-are-manipulative-like-that01

The internet is a terrible and terrific place to learn about women.

There are so many assholes out there unwittingly leading you astray that as a young man I brutally fucked up my worldview following the bread-and-butter “alpha male” websites teaching us that women can’t be trusted and that they will always screw you over if you’re not careful.

As Mike Cernovich mentions, not all women “shit test,” i.e. put up a false front to test for weakness in a man.

I myself have experienced my own woman brutally challenging me constantly, even though I have proven myself many times over. And many times I have witnessed this woman “giving up” sex as a method of manipulation, rather than desire.

She would never admit it, but I see right through that shit.

What I have seen is that my woman withholds sex, mostly unconsciously, because she has been taught and raised to treat sex with that perspective. This does not make her a whore or a golddigger, even though she appears to be one at times, but rather it just indicates her own unhealthy personal perspective.

And that is the point of this post:

All women are different and they all have slightly different perspectives, JUST LIKE MEN.

Since I am somewhat manipulative myself, I used to play these games with women. But now, having come from the dark side and being older and wiser, I see right through it when it happens.

Once my woman came to me and instead of having sex she started getting dressed. I asked her what she was doing. She said that we should go out to bars, and flirt with other people, and see what happens.

I lay there in bed, honestly not wanting to go out to the bars AT ALL, and it occurred to me that I had to shut down this game before it started.

Though at the time I had little experience with honesty and authenticity over gameplaying, I still managed a perfect execution.

I said, “I don’t want to go out to the bars. And what the fuck do you mean let’s flirt with other people? We are together, so let’s not play games. Let’s have sex instead.”

The cornered woman gave me a bit of challenge but I kept up my honesty. Then she replied,

“You’re right. I’m just playing games. I don’t know what I was thinking. Let’s be together.”

If I recall correctly we actually had sex after that.

And imagine: in today’s world, most men would be taught to follow up her gameplaying by going out and proving what an “alpha” they were, or flirting with other girls to turn her on.

But I personally no longer care for that kind of manipulation.

Chateau Heartiste, apex “manosphere” blogger, reveals exactly the kind of mindset the internet is encouraging in this partiular post about a woman who plays games.

What’s revealing is that, instead of calling the girl out on her bullshit, Heartiste happily goes along with the girl and plays her game, and then ends up having sex with her.

But this is pathetic.

After playing so many games, I would not then indulge in this girl’s behavior. If I were on the first date with this chick, I would have played along with a bit of small talk, and then said,

“Why in the fuck are you acting this way?” and called her out on all her bullshit, calmly and matter-of-factly.

Then, if she responded with sincerity, maybe the date would continue.

If she did not, then I would walk. That simple.

Heartiste seems content to “play the game,” but what he is missing is that the game is a prison.

I repeat: not all women are manipulative and controlling scum who will test you and battle you and challenge you and drive you insane.

If those are the only women you know of, and you must delve into evolutionary psychology to prove it, then perhaps you are only revealing the sinister gameplayer at your core.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I just encourage you to seek BEYOND the game. It’s useful to know, but it is self-limiting. And once you stop playing the games and encourage genuineness with yourself, you will see right through the manipulations of the women around you, and if you’re like me then you will stop being aroused by them.

Today my girlfriend wanted my attention so badly she kept kissing me and tried to have sex with me. But I resisted her advances, until finally she broke. She started lashing out at me and calling me names like “loser” and tears welled up in her eyes. She became desperate to know if we could still be together.

This woman has broken it off with me multiple times in the last week, and keeps wanting to “make up” again.

But what she has is not true sexual desire.

It is manipulation.

Sex is a tool on her toolbelt to rope in a man, and again, I repeat, NOT ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT. I know from firsthand experience. And when you encounter a woman like this, ask yourself:

Do I share these same values?

If not, and you’d rather find a woman who actually WANTS to fuck, then maybe you’d just better run.

Because ALL women will give you warning signs and red flags LONG before their major issues surface, and it’s up to you not to entertain those relationships unless you want (or need) the experience.

Trust me–or, rather, TRUST YOURSELF.

The gut never lies, but more importantly things are often far more obvious than we try to pretend they aren’t.

People can easily read other people, or tell if they are lying. They just don’t trust their own judgment. I’d link the scientific studies but you can find them on your own and it’s common sense, really.

So when you encounter a woman who strikes you as being a potential user, or lyer, or manipulator, or as being emotionally or sexually fucked up, then you better goddamn trust yourself and not wait to be so very right later.

If the woman seems like she has sexual problems, then she probably does.

If you think she’s too judgmental, then she probably is.

And if you never see her smile and sense she is unhappy, then she probably is.

My advice to you?

Call her out on her bullshit, and then RUN.

It is never cowardly to cut people out of your life before they have a chance. Do you purposely let a hammer drop on your toe to see what happens?

No. You already know what will happen.

No need to drop the hammer just to see the details of the consequences. Some things just aren’t worth exploring.

That said, I fully encourage you to run the gamut of experiences with women to develop your own intuition.

But until then, just remember not to get too involved with one wrong woman. Because they are NOT all like that.

Even if it sometimes seems that way.
Your relationship counselor,
James Mast

Why the “Red Pill” sucks

The reason the red pill sucks is because is has an inherent distrust of women.

It also sucks because it stole that fancy Matrix term that can be applied to so much more than just the nature of women.

I don’t ever fully trust anybody, in fact I am extremely paranoid and take steps to control things before they happen. This is an ability I developed, it was not inborn. And it has since paid off in spades, further validating that you should never completely trust anybody or expect anything. And it’s not personal.

That said, the red pill takes it in a completely other direction.

Just today I red another silly reddit thread where one man asks his fellow losers, “What does it mean when she says she needs space?”

They all talked about how he needed to be indifferent, and that she was on the fence, and that she might be trying to fuck other guys.

Well my girlfriend told me she needed space, but she also was quite sexual with me and I fucked her good and the reason she told me that was because I was an added stressor on her already dilapidated life and she had extreme anxiety and loose boundaries and costantly took her problems out on other people.

So telling me she needed space was literally her way of telling me, “I need space.” She wanted me out of her apartment because she was already poorly managing everything and I wasn’t financially supporting her or buying shit for her apartment as much as I was providing direction and fucking her brains out.

It wasn’t personal, in other words. And she wasn’t fucking other guys.

But I have no doubt if I posted such a situation on reddit or any forum then I would get 10 redpill assholes all telling me that I need to “soft next” her or “be aloof and indifferent” or some other technique when in reality she is her own person with her own problems and if she cheats on me, that says more about her than me, and if she wants space, then why would I want to live with her anyway?

What’s funny is the OP in the thread I read actually came to such a conclusion himself, before succumbing to the advice he was bombarded with.

“I don’t want to be with a woman who doesn’t want to commit as much as I do,” he says, which is a striking realization on his behalf. Knowing what you want is half the battle, and this fellow has figured out that if a woman is having reservations, it’s not really his job to change himself for her or do anything different unless he wants to or CAN.

In this case perhaps a better woman should just be found.

And that’s why the Red Pill sucks.

There’s a lot of responsibility on your shoulders when you take everything a woman does personally. Remember that she has her own fucking problems especially if she’s a broken bird (which many are) and the last thing you need to do is resolve them because unless she stands up on her own two feet and goes out and does exactly what you’ve been telling her to do, then she’s not in it to get saved. She’s in it to be a victim, and pretend to want to be saved.

There’s no point in spending a lot of money on these type of women. They are broken and while you might love them, insatiably, and KNOW and SEE their potential, ultimately it would behoove you to leave them if your goal is a more equal partner because, as you will find, these women are a reflection of the vast majority of ALL humans in GENERAL, meaning both men and women, and friends and family. Just because she’s a love interest doesn’t make her special.

That’s painful because we view everything through our sexual blinders, but that’s ok.

The point here is just that the Red Pill tactics and advice and “gaming” techniques all really say more about the men themselves and the women they are dating, than they do about “all women in general.”

And if you can’t stop dating these broken women, then perhaps it’s time to find out why.
– James Mast

Women want a different kind of power

Women want interpersonal power, not external power.

In other words women want to be “dominated.”

There is a difference between being wealthy and powerful and having power over a woman. They are two different things, and while science has allegedly determined that women orgasm harder for wealthy men, for one thing science cannot be trusted and for another thing my women cum every time I fuck them and I am not rich by a long shot.

No, what women want is for you to have power over them. And this can be done without finances or other external status displays; in fact a “good” woman (i.e. one who wants to please) will actually make this road to power easier, although that is not necessarily the best avenue for a developing seductive stud to learn from.

The best way to figure this out is to just act with authority over your woman. This does NOT mean being an asshole. Though many women will in fact put up with being an asshole. And we’ll have to define asshole.

A true asshole is someone who puts up a front, someone who conceals their true selves. Nobody likes this person.

The kind of “asshole” that women like is in fact a more genuine, emotional man. Sincerely, women crave emotions of any sort from a man. And it’s not even the emotions themselvs necessarily; it is the uninhibited, life energy that emanates from a man who is being authentic.

This means getting pissed. It means crying. It means making your true self known, and not just hiding everything.

This does not mean you have to become an extrovert, although personally I have found that much of my introversion was actually just being a “true asshole” and concealing myself, with a lot of my introspection just being immaturity and wasting my time.

Don’t get me wrong; meditation and visualization and mind power are extremely important to constructing your life, otherwise you are flying blind. And you will notice then when you reach a level of personal power (not interpersonal) and you realize that events unfolding in your life are actually resembling the things you’ve been thinking about.

It is not a coincidence.

But this post is not about personal power, it’s about dominance over a woman, and I hate this word dominance precisely because it is so overused and overplayed and in fact I think it’s actually a little bent out of shape.

A better word would be UNINHIBITEDNESS.

And this is what i have long been ruminating in my mind based on many experiences with women that just cannot be explained through traditional avenues or new-emerging avenues such as “game.” Game is overrated but not in the way many think. It’s not that game is not real; human psychology is obviously a real thing.

But the problem is that if you want to get good at influencing people then you will have to develop your INTUITIVE senses, not your intellectual ones.

This is why dumb jocks tend to do better with women.

Your “social skills”–more inward than outward–will better determine your success with women than your intellect.

This is why certain drugs such as phenibut or alcohol will make you more attractive to women (and people in general).

I’ve witnessed that when I’m on the verge of tears women smile at me and make themselves very warm toward me.

Also I have witnessed women hitting on me when I am visibly pissed off and horny.

After a while of these things happening you don’t write them off as one-off events, you determine that being authentic and displaying real emotion is wildly more attractive than putting off an unaffected front.

Now for those of you who find this disturbing or distracting to your goals, yes. It is.

But you will have to decide whether being human and allowing these emotoinal displays and getting the return of investment from people and especially women is worth it to you.

Being uninhibited is different than just being a domineering asshole.

Express your annoyance

Consider this:

My girlfriend was once going on about trivial bullshit and whining about her mother.

I told her I was getting tired of this.

She said, “You know, when this happens and I’m out of line you can just tell me to shut up.”

I’ll happily oblige, I thought.

Then she said, “My ex-boyfriends would always tell me, ‘If you don’t shut up I’ll beat your ass.'”

I thought this was a bit crass even for me but when you realize that women often stay with their abusers and actually DEMAND to be hit, then it’s a different story.

This same girl also told me one day (when she was at peak ovulation) that she wanted me to hit her to snap her out of her whiny, annoying indulgences. She was very anxious and to make me certain it was ok she smacked herself in the face.

So then I smacked her, twice. The first time was wimpy. The second time was rather hard.

She said, “Ow, that was hard” but she did stop complaining after that. I think we even had sex.

The colloquial term for this is, “Putting women in their place.”

And it has nothing to do with being an asshole.

It means you are GENUINELY annoyed with her fucking narcissistic dramatic needy bullshit. And you want her to cut it the fuck out.

Does this make you selfish? Yes.

Does this involve having power over another person? Yes.

But it is genuine and exerts your boundaries? Yes.

And this is attractive behavior, especially to women who are into men. Now I personally think all women have a degree of bisexuality but that is another story.

Having power over another person is intrinstic to living. You wield power and influence just by existing, if you choose to exist well. And that is unavoidable as long as you are human and living on this planet.

If you are doing what’s best for other people, that doesn’t mean avoiding them. You are only putting yourself at a disadvantage when you do that.

After all, if you’re going to concern yourself with what’s best for others, you need to consider that people are facing the same dilemma when they encounter you.

In any face off between you and another person’s will, one person will win. That is just reality.

And it might as well be you.

Practical tip: Get angry when you are angry.

Get and be annoyed when you are annoyed.

Tell your woman to shut up when you want her to shut up.

Cry if you feel like crying, even if it’s in front of other people.

And be happy and energetic if you feel like it. One time on Adderall I was running into a drugstore singing loudly with my girlfriend there.

She told me later that they said I was “funny” and next time she was there they asked her where I was.

And I did nothing except for be myself, however drug-altered I was in that moment.

Just express your emotions and you will be one step closer to your real self. Just remember not to be a needy, annoying lunatic. Women don’t always like that either.

A good way to sum up this article is just to keep this in mind:

Be yourself for you, and if they don’t like it then they can walk.

Being honest with yourself, and the storm of emotion

Love can be a whirlwind fire that will tear you asunder and bring out your best and worst qualities.

It is foolishness of the utmost extreme to presume that denying love in favor of playing games or continually being “aloof” or dishonest about your nature will somehow bring you satisfaction in your relationships with women.

As a whole we have been taught as men to betray our emotions and that is wrong.

There is no joy, let alone strength in being an anhedonic robot.

Embracing your true nature is the only way to be self-satisfied and grow and also to attract others in the way that only you can with your own true and authentic self.

Falling in love and embracing pursuit of women will bring out everything that you are. You will learn your weaknesses and strengths, and you will forced to confront your hangups and struggle with honesty about what you are and what you want.

It will also dredge up everything that you AREN’T. It takes strength to recognize these barriers, push through the pain of confronting them, and then going through the process to overcome them.

What you may find in pursuing women is that you are not following your own nature, thus attracting the wrong type of women or else denying you what you want or even NEED because you cannot be honest about it.

Are you REALLY looking for sex? Are you looking for love? Are you looking for a companion? Are there a variety of needs you want met, which aren’t being satisfied because you are trying to lock them down with women that don’t want to provide those needs?

You must be honest about what you want and about your reality.

There was one a pretty German girl I met in LA who fell in love with me. It started out slow and calm but very high-energy.

Though I spoke quietly to her and her to me, when we met there was a fire.

I saw her, wearing sunglasses, walking along the street with headphones in and a bag of health food berries (probably Acai, the new rage these days).

I approached her mainly because she was sporting a bare chest underneath her sports bra, but also because something in me wanted to smash her protective barrier. The dual message, of both her outfit and the sunglasses was enough to engage my hunter.

When I approached her she stopped before me and I could barely contain myself. I kept smiling and smirking and wanting to laugh, the energy was intense for me.

Now we are told not to smile or to remain poker-faced in front of women, but I just did what came naturally. I was feeling happy to talk to her, I WANTED to talk to her, and there was nothing wrong with it. At no point did I pretend to be disinterested or feeling less than I was.

We flirted for a little bit and I wasn’t entirely sure she was even into me. But then she made the slightest, feminine gesture of preferring her bag of berries for me. And naturally, I accepted (the Ben Franklin effect is something I am well aware of exploiting).

It was smooth sailing after that, just a natural seduction with us talking and I let out my heart. I was honest, I did not shy away from intense topics like sexual energy, and the woman responded in kind.

It wasn’t long before she was wanting to literally jump me. But because I was denying my sexuality at that time, I did not act on my desires.

Eventually she came around to touching ME but it wasn’t until a second date that the moment came for us to kiss and I didn’t. She asked me, “Don’t you want to kiss me?” and I said no.

She felt rejected but it did not end.

It would end with an even bigger blunder.

She went to slap my ass unexpectedly, perhaps as a last-ditch effort to engage my sexuality after we’d been driving around to find a place to fuck without actually explicitly acknowledging it, and I was unable to honestly tell her to just stop at a hotel, and I would pay for it. We had not openly discussed fucking but it was obvious what we both wanted.

When she slapped my ass, I went quiet. It felt awkward. I wanted to get to know her, not just fuck her so soon, I thought.

And this blunder led to her walking away.

But as she was walking away, the artificial thing to do would have been to let her go, and assume she would come back. But in that moment, I knew that she would not be coming back. I felt it.

So I decided to chase her.

I ran 2 blocks to catch back up to her, something no man taking internet advice would ever do, and she exclaimed in delightful surprise, “Are you coming?” or something to that effect.

At the time I did not realize it, but she thought perhaps I was finally expressing my sexual aggression instead of being “aloof and indifferent,” or denying my sexuality because I thought it was necessary to find a woman to love and not just fuck.

I never saw that woman again, and I sent her a string of texts explaining why I did what I did and that it wasn’t really me. she never responded.

But the key to this incident for me was that rather than holding back, I needed to do the exact opposite. And she APPRECIATED that. That’s what she wanted.

When I chased her as she walked away she felt desired, and she was surprised because it betrayed the contradictory weakness I had displayed before. In that moment I could have gotten what I wanted, but instead I told her that I felt like I had done something wrong, and she told me that it “wasn’t me.”

Later I would discover on Facebook that she as already in a relationship. Of course.

My lack of sexual aggression and being true to my nature had turned her away and back into the arms of her comfortable lover, who she was clearly intent on leaving for me had I not betrayed myself.
This incident was a key turning point in my relationships with women. No longer would I deny my sexuality, and no longer would I simply try to get women in bed.

You must be honest, both with yourself AND your sexuality to become a true master with women.
You do not have to hide from sex. You do not have to pretend like it doesn’t exist, like a boo-hoo taboo. You can evenly openly speak about it with women that you have just met, if you are being genuine.

I do not mean, “Will you fuck me?” as that is crass and inauthentic anyway. Although I will be honest, this can work too if you really mean it and it makes sense.

Perhaps the greatest blunder men make in seduction is disallowing themself of their natural instincts. They think they must perform or be dishonest in some way to make women love them, when in reality what they need to do is EMBRACE those qualities that they ignored and betrayed for some weakness, such as social ineptness or anxiety.
Your real problem is that you are holding back.

Instead of trying to engineer yourself into some badboy or line-spitting idiot, you would do better to become your natural self and turn off the women who don’t like it. You can make a great joke and have fun with yourself and then woman will hate you, and not “get it.” And that’s ok.

Would you really want a woman like that anyway?

Key to being good with women is being honest, even ruthlessly so, and you can do that partly by embracing your nature. If you are in love, so be it. Do not hide that. Embrace it!

Don’t pretend you don’t care about the woman, or play games. IF you want gameplaying women then I guess it’s ok, but that’s hardly the kind of fulfillment I would seek. That does not engender real passion and flaming romances the like of which you probably don’t believe in or only see in bad Hollywood movies.

You’d be surprised at what you can “get away with” when you are really honest with yourself and take the risks. After a while those risks will no longer be risks, persay, because you’d rather be yourself than lie even if it means turning someone away. You will be comfortable with rejection, whether you are walking or the woman is rejecting you.

You must embrace your nature to get what you want, and for some of us that may mean chasing when we are told not to chase, loving when we are told not to love, being angry when we are told not to get angry, and holding on when we are told to let go.

Overall if you wish to be successful with yourself, either in life or romance, then you must be honest with yourself and “come into your own,” even if that means turning off many around you.

There is much more to life than gratuitous sex or making money or racking up a notch count.

But you will never believe that unless are you honest with yourself.