The only reason you hold back is because of conditioning–guilt, conscience, superego, shame, etc.
Throughout my life I’ve had the misfortune of running across a lot of negative people. Negative people are really just people with limits.
One time I expressed at work that I felt zero pity for homeless people because they do nothing to improve their situation, and I would never be like them.
Then a Christian zealot and a black woman turned on me and said I needed to feel pity for them because God might put me down and I would be like them one day.
I said, point blank, “That will never happen to me.” And I left.
She couldn’t look me in the eye after that and she never showed up to work again.
Of course back when I had limiting beliefs, such as the belief that I was always doing something wrong, then they would manifest.
In particular I once had a belief that hitting on girls was a bad thing. So I would only reinforce this with what I projected.
Once I approached a 30-year-old blond woman who yelled at me.
“Stop approaching people!” she snapped. “Do you want me to report you?”
At the time I felt such extreme shame. It was my worst fear manifested; the fear of getting into “trouble.”
I was bedridden for weeks. I slowly lost the ability to talk to ANY girls. This woman had broken through to my greatest insecurity. I had a couple more incidents after that involving police, but of course since I hadn’t broken any laws nothing happened.
But now that my belief is gone, people never “threaten” me this way.
What I had to learn the hard way is that everything is a numbers game, and there is no limit. The more numbers you play, the more options you have.
This is what successful people know that the negative nellies don’t. Because everyone and their dog that isn’t successful is a negative nellie.
They have limits.
These people are limited, and so when you approach them for whatever reason, they cannot comprehend a reality other than the path laid out for them.
The girl that rejects you and throws a fit has no idea what the reality of the numbers game is. She literally cannot comprehend that even though she is not interested, millions of other women are.
She is an idiot with no concept of how the real world works.
What’s funny is that many girls are still polite or even outright flirty with me, and tell me “there are plenty of other girls out there to talk to.”
They clearly don’t understand success, or else they would be successful.
What that woman told me to “stop approaching people,” she was actually telling me: give up because you’re not good enough.
There are a few lucky bastards who grew up in privilege or with some kind of talent or looks. But that doesn’t guarantee wild success. It might just grant them passive success, which you can beat if you play the numbers (gain experience).
To get to level of those born lucky or with great talent, you will have to fight an uphill battle and go to extremes to get the same or greater level of experience.
Face the numbers. Get told that you are going to fail.
Or, worse, that you are not good enough for success.
But if you persist, you too can have success. And when you’re taking a hot girl you just met home then that one stupid bitch who wrecked you long ago can shove it up her legalistic asshole.
Just because one girl doesn’t want you is no guarantee that the next one doesn’t want your services.
The numbers game applies to all things in life, including friends and careers. There is plenty of opportunity out there for you.
Just remember that most people are stupid, narcissistic, entitled, and ignorant, and they will all assume that if THEY don’t want you, then nobody else would, either.
These people are all complete morons, and you know better.
Keep in mind that many people will also assume great things about you and wonder why anybody else can’t see your greatness.
Do not mistake the hammer for power. The hammer is authority, and stamps out the weak who passively follow. It is only a matter of time before the hammer is broken, it’s head chopped off the wooden base.
The hammer knows no subtlety. It will swing until it breaks its target.
The brush is true power, the ability to ensure life bends to the artist, who knows just the right strokes and does not press too harshly nor too gently.
His power comes from his intuition, the heart of creativity.
And so it would be from then on that the woman would deceive the man, for she took the forbidden fruit and made Adam eat it. She was deceived by her own naive nature but her animal instincts betrayed her cunning.
Man is inspired by woman, the designated helper. But she can cut the legs off a man as God cut the legs off of the Snake.
The truth about Samson and Delilah
Delilah cut Samson’s hair, sapping his great strength.
She seduced him on three levels.
Delilah made Samson give up his semen, and thus his strength and vitality was drained.
His hair, another source of mystical energy, was cut.
And for her deception Samson lost his legs.
The Seed of Man
The truth is that women desire to steal the seed of men for their own impregnation. Women all desire to be impregnated by a strong man and are constantly testing his strength to prove that his seed is worthy.
But semen is also a source of great power. Consider why women beg for cum and want an orgasm within them, not without.
Also consider that any recipient or instigator of climax reports a great happiness or joviality afterward.
Stop and think about the very simple energetic equation of why this is so.
The Apple’s Forbidden Knowledge
The Forbidden Knowledge that Adam lost when he partook of the Apple is the same Super Strength that Sampson lost when he was tricked by Delilah.
Assuming you are 100% man, and sperm is 50% of a new being, what might occur should you choose to keep it?
Admittedly I had to learn this my way, and I was the asshole for a while. I was rigidly attached to finding love as a self-acceptance mechanism. I can even point to the exact triggers and lifetime events that culminated in this perspective.
But that didn’t make the gripping insecurity any less hard to deal with.
No one is ever going to love you as severely as you can love yourself.
So it’s time to let the women go, and take them as they are. They are real people, just polluted human beings like men.
By all means, spread your wild oats.
But keep in mind not to involve yourself with the wrong people.
I once rode my bike 4 hours to bang a girl. This was during a horrible dry spell where I was out every day, hitting on hundreds of women, just trying to get laid. I needed it so badly that I was willing to stop at nothing.
But you know what’s funny?
This girl knew all about it, and we even got together for a while. And whenever people would ask how we met, she would tell the story, outright saying “He rode 4 hours to see me!”
All of those people would say “that’s sweet” or act happy about it. But I always worried it was “desperate.”
And the reality is that it was only different because of the way it was framed.
And that said, I am proud of what I did. I did what needed to be done, because I wanted it so badly I was willing to do whatever was necessary. It was hard, and it was at night, and my phone was dead, but I did it.
How far you are willing to go says a lot about how limited you are as a person. If you really want something, you’d better be willing to do whatever it takes. No matter how “trite” or “trivial” you’ve been led to believe, because that’s how losers talk.
Even something like getting laid can be important if you want and need it, and you can’t let this idea of “desperation” get in the way.
Athletes work tirelessly day after day to run that extra step, that extra mile. How is it any different with money, sex, or…? You name it.
The only difference between desperation and persistence is the label.
Just ask yourself two questions:
1) How badly do you want it?
2) Are you going to let other people steal it away from you?
It’s time, young man, to take up your rightful place in the social order.
From now on you’re going to have people do you favors.
When you walk, make everyone get out of your way. It’s only fair. You’ve gotten out of their way a thousand times.
Instead of avoiding big men at the gym, bump shoulders with them. If women are holding hands and taking up the entire sidewalk, just keep walking right through them, right through their arms. Don’t look back, and don’t stop as they bitch at your audacity. After all, they had the audacity to think a Man of your stature would move out of their way.
Let people buy you dinner or pay for lunch. You’ve taken girls out on expensive dates because you felt they were more entitled than you, but it’s time now to be the entitled one and let them return the favor.
Instead of waiting for others to cross the street, you cross the street first.
And why should you do all these things?
Because your entire life you’ve eaten shit, that’s why.
You’ve done a billion fucking favors for other people, and isn’t it time they returned you the favor?
If God was watching, he’d smile on you because he has kept a tally of those “good” and nice acts you’ve done for others, and he knows it is time to reap your just reward.
You’ve done people favors your entire life, so why not flip the script now?
Think about it:
In every situation, there is always a winner and a loser. It is always a zero sum game.
Either you are doing the person a favor, or they are doing you a favor.
You can’t feel guilty for being the winner. Because the other person has the same problem.
Imagine you are crossing the road on foot, and a car is driving up at the same time. Both the car and you have to decide who goes first. So why not take the first step?
It may be selfish, but see, if you let the car go first, then that person in the car is being selfish instead.
Why the hell is anyone else’s desire more important than yours?
He had the same desire, but instead of putting his desire first, you put your own first. It’s just a little mindset shift. It’s very simple, and it’s almost easy.
Especially in today’s feminist 1984 environment where we stick cameras in our TVs and people call the cops over the most frivolous things, it’s important to understand the correct and proper way to handle these encounters.
Personally I have had a number of incidents involving police but every time I have managed to evade any kind of ticket or problem, sometimes by refusing to speak to the police altogether.
There is absolutely no need to talk to a police officer.
What they want is for you to suck up like a little bitch boy and tell them all they want to hear, answer all their questions, and give them as much information as possible so that they can find a reason to arrest you.
What’s funny is that after they stop you, interrogate you, and ask intrusive questions they’ll usually ask a question like “What’s with you attitude?” and then they will order you to walk away or be rude to you, even though they are the ones who stopped you.
When police detain you it is an intrusion. It’s a waste of your time and it’s harassment.
I’m a busy man and I don’t have the time to be annoyed by police who are going to invade my privacy, be rude to me, and try their best to accuse me of a crime.
Police are like salesmen.
They find a lead, they get that lead talking, they find out what the lead needs or wants, and then they get a sale.
But in this case a sale means you are getting fined or going to jail, and so you need to make it very clear that you don’t want the cop’s services.
If you’ve ever been in sales, you’ll know that the most common response to a sales pitch or cold call is a polite “I’m not interested.”
With cops I’m suggesting the same thing. When I say “don’t talk to police” it’s not like you just keep walking and seal your lips. There are certain rights you have depending on where and why they are stopping you. We’ll get to those.
There’s a good way to handle police depending on the situation.
1) When police are at your door
If cops are at your door, then lock the door.
Just completely ignore them until you go away.
This is because 90% of the time when cops come to your door they are seeking information in you to build a case. If you answer them or give them any info, then you are implicating yourself.
One time my girlfriend had a warrant out for her arrest because of a traffic ticket that was a year overdue (ridiculous, I know). We were both at home and got into a fight.
10 minutes later there was a definitive, familiar harsh knock on the door that we both knew was police. I told her to just wait it out. 5 minutes later they left and there were no notes, no calls.
You don’t have to speak to police unless they have a warrant.
And the best way to find out if there’s a warrant out for your arrest is to refuse to speak with them.
In the event you’ve done something big enough to have a warrant out without having spoken with any police, then it’s either a misunderstanding or you’ve done something pretty illegal. In that case the police will find you eventually or they will kick down the door.
So with a warrant or without, just say no to police. Lock the door and wait for them to go away, just like you would with Jehovah’s Witnesses.
2) When police are the phone.
Another time I received a call at work from a lady saying that two cops were at my door. “Do you have time to speak to them?” she asked. I said, “No. What’s this about?” She wouldn’t tell me and simply said, “Several people have called the police on you. Can you come speak with them?” I said no. Then, she asked me in a challenging tone, “Why not?”
The implication here is that the onus is on me to prove why I can’t. It’s a sales tactic, but not a good one for someone who doesn’t like to be challenged. I just told her, “I’m not available.” She then said, “Hold on a sec,” and I hung up. I knew that she was going to put me on the phone with police, but I didn’t want to talk to the police.
So just hung up.
Treat a police call like a telemarketing call.
You wouldn’t give out vital information to a telemarketer, would you?
In this case, you don’t even want to identify yourself. If you ever get a call from cops, never confirm anything. Let them only guess that it’s you on the phone and don’t confirm if they ask for your name. Challenge them, as if they are trying to scam you. Find out what they want.
The only purpose of talking to police is to find out what they are after, then get away from them.
3) In a vehicle
Here’s where things get tricky. You do have legal requirements if you’re stopped while in a vehicle.
If they ask you to get out of the vehicle, you have to get out. They are allowed to test for drugs or alcohol. But they cannot search you.
Opening your car door is also an invitation to search your car.
Therefore, before opening the car door, you MUST tell an officer that they are not allowed to search your vehicle and that you are only opening the door to step out.
You also must give them ID and registration.
But, again, they are NOT allowed to search your vehicle or your person.
That includes sticking their hand through your window. That’s not just illegal it’s dangerous. It’s also a possible violation of your right to consent to searches. It may be helpful to record your interaction if you are in a vehicle, unless you sense you’ll just get off with a warning.
4) Being stopped in person
When you are detained on foot or by yourself, you are not required to give any information to the police except to identify yourself, and even then only in certain states.
In California, for example, you do not have to give the officer your ID or your name or address. But keep in mind giving them a hard time increases your chances of false arrest.
The best thing to do is to never show fear, stand tall and proud, look them dead in the eye, give them only your name and home address (or just hand them your ID), and answer ANY other questions with:
“I can’t speak without an attorney present.”
Cops know what this means and they might give you shit, but just stand your ground. Make it clear they won’t get a thing out of you without outright provoking them and often they will leave you alone. Though these are not hard-and-fast rules, since some cops may give you more or less trouble.
Just remember to trust your gut.
Things to always do during a police encounter
1) Record them
Video recording them is likely to land you particularly bad treatment, so I don’t recommend it. But what you can do is record them with an audio recorder on your phone.
That way if they do anything you don’t like then you can challenge them in court.
2) Ask if you’re being detained, arrested, and if they have a warrant
If they balk at any of these questions, there’s a good chance you’re just being detained and they don’t have enough info on you to arrest you or get a warrant.
Also remember that even if police tell you that you are going to go to jail or be arrested or get a ticket, they might just be lying.
I’ve had cops tell me they were going to ticket or arrest me, before telling me to “get lost” 5 minutes later.
They are trained to lie.
3) Lastly: remember the magic phrase.
The magic phrase any time an officer asks you anything is easy:
“You’ll have to speak with may attorney.”
And this is an important phrase to learn for when police ask you questions while you’re being detained and ESPECIALLY if you are arrested or in the police station.
If you find yourself at the station or in jail, use this line and don’t give them any information. Make sure you also tell them you want your free attorney if you do not already have a lawyer. Don’t confirm anything or help them out without talking to your lawyer first, even if the cops promise you that they’ll “let you go if you talk.”
Remember that police are trained to lie and trained to give you a hard time.
They want to make you out to be a fool, as lesser than them, as being “wrong” for challenging them, or as an assumed criminal. They are trained to do this and they act like they have power even if the law prevents them from outright abusing it (though that doesn’t always stop them, does it?)
NEVER believe you are in the wrong and remember that police are just doing a job and they are trained or allowed to be assholes. Stand your ground, assert your rights, and let them tase you or jail you with or without a warrant.
You don’t have to suck up.
Being stopped or called by police is no different than being interrupted by any other stranger or professional.
If they are wasting your time or you don’t want their services, then you don’t have to speak with them. You don’t have to give them any information and it’s up to them to get a warrant on you, at which case there’s enough evidence for your arrest that speaking with them can only be a bad thing anyway.
I highly recommend watching the above video in its entirety. Both a law professor AND a police chief speak about the legal dangers of talking to police, and your legal rights.
The best way to build tolerance to everything bad for you is to play with fire.
You purposely tempt yourself in order to build discipline.
When you pass the temptation, you feel a surge of purpose and purity. It is a Divine Fire, a cleansing that gives each day the opportunity to maintain that purity.
Avoiding the things that slow you down actually becomes a new addiction. You crave progress and discipline.
I had a sugar tooth growing up. My bowel movements were awful and my parents could never figure out why. Silly them, it was because I gorging on desserts every day.
While my “IBS” is gone (along with my OCD and bipolar disorder and diabetes and every other alleged “disorder” known to man that turns out to actually just be really bad habits), I still love the fuck out of sweets and I had a bad habit buying entire packs of donuts every day.
Being ripped, it doesn’t really affect me weightwise.
But it DOES affect my mood and energy levels. It slows me down and bogs down my mind.
Getting irritated by this temptation, I decided to buy another pack of donuts.
But this time I did something different.
I just let it sit there on my desk. I didn’t open it.
A few days later I picked it up, but knew I would feel immensely guilty, and so I set it back down.
Whenever I went out shopping in the store, I knew I couldn’t buy any other junk food because I already had those donuts at home, sitting there, untouched. I couldn’t bring myself to waste yet more money on junk food knowing that I already had some.
And that’s how I cured my donut addiction.
A long time ago I stopped eating desserts and junk food as my main diet. Now foods that used to be bland, such as natural peanut butter are full of flavor. Once all the artificial and addictive processed crap and all of the sugar was out of my system, my body re-adjusted to normal, healthy whole foods. Not to mention most of my digestion problems went away, and I had a lot more energy.
It’s not enough to just AVOID things that are bad for you. You must purposely TEMPT yourself and WIN.
This builds the addictive cycle of discipline and rising above your temptors. It’s quite self-righteous.
This stuff is all in the Bible, but of course as heathens we’re tempted to dismiss that book.
But the truth is that alcohol and sex and shitty foods and drugs really DO drain you of energy, and when you’re fighting an uphill battle you have nothing to spare.
“I don’t pray for God to take my problems away, I pray only for God to give me the strength to go through them.” – Jose Lozano
They frustrate you. Lost opportunity leaves you with an empty hunger. It’s not enough to eat or even have sex. The failure eats at you, a mounting rage that you can either quell or feed.
The gnawing emptiness is the void in your heart. It’s what those Christians tell you only God can fill. It’s the ache that all those bliss ninnies say cannot come from material desires, or the “world.”
Of course they’re not wrong, but they’re not right.
The frustration is from your own potential, your own LACK of freedom.
Every little thing you do wrong builds up into a rising desperation.
How many days did you waste?
How many hours did you sleep longer, how many hours did you work at your job just to pay rent so that you can continue to go nowhere?
Did you work all day only to blow it with the one girl you could have talked to?
You forgot to ask her for her number, and it haunts you all night.
You don’t know what to do about it. You just want to BREAK OUT.
You want to DO SOMETHING but you don’t know what to do!
You are restless at night, wishing there was a way to break out of the madness, wishing that you could do something right this very moment to correct yourself and move mountains and change the course of your life.
You might be desperate and lonely. Your girlfriend could walk out of your life tomorrow and it would throw you into chaos because you are trapped in a cage.
But you don’t know how to overcome all the rationalizations and excuses in your head.
You’re worried about damaging relationships, or your reputation with those around you.
Your insufferable excuses lead you to avoid practice, and when opportunity hits you are unable to take full advantage of it.
You know that something needs to GIVE, but WHAT?
When will you break free?
When will you finally stop giving a fuck about the world around you?
When will you finally LET YOURSELF fulfill your potential?
When will you EMBRACE FAILURE and learn to LOVE MISTAKES?
Will it “happen” tomorrow?
Or years from now?
Can you imagine what it would be like to go another day with the gag on your mouth, building all this discipline and seemingly changing, but in all actuality just wasting away and not really changing at all?
WHEN’S IT GOING TO GIVE.
WHEN ARE YOU FINALLY GOING TO GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO BREAK FREE OF THE LIMITATIONS?
When are you finally going to break rules, get yourself in trouble, and more importantly go after what you really need to pursue, whether heaven or hell is due and whether you ultimately fail miserably or not?
Will it be today? Tomorrow?
A week from now? A month from now?
It’s the hardest and easiest thing in the world to let go.
It will madden you and frighten you but it will also haunt your spirit every day, every night, calling to you and pressing down on you like a boulder on your shoulder until you finally wake up from your mortal comfort and embrace the insanity, no matter how scared you are.
Because this is your Higher Calling, it is your Drive, it is your ambition and your spirit and nothing else can possibly matter.
It is really YOU and it will finally give you an edge over all those fools, over all those failures, over all the people who ever told you “NO.”
But most importantly, it will finally give you freedom from yourself.
It’s the prison in your mind. The barrier you call home.
It’s holding you back so much that there is only one viable solution:
You want to fail your ass off, and enjoy it.
Before I got any good with women, I went through 7 years of on-off talking to women. For months at a time I would spend 6-7 hours a day talking to girls and in the offtime I would be playing piano to vent my sexual rage or eating food.
This led to cyclical depression. As I failed to get laid, I would jack off to porn and hit depression and be bedridden.
But over the course of the years, I learned to get better at handling defeat. So much so that I never got out the porn. I didn’t stay in bed for days.
Even after the cops kicked me out of the gym just for talking to some girls (incidentally I picked up the hottest girl I’ve ever been with at that gym), I used that failure to propel me.
Instead of being afraid of getting kicked out of places or afraid of rejection, I came to embrace it because my fear had gone away.
The only real fear is fear itself, and that becomes intimately true once you experience the fear.
EXPERIENCE YOUR GREATEST FEAR.
That’s the best way to stop being afraid.
Get yourself in trouble, and instead of always avoiding the worst, just go out and experience it so that you don’t have to worry about it anymore.
You’re holding back because of that Fear, and once you finally get through it you will realize that there is not much left to lose, or that getting into trouble really isn’t so bad.
Failure–not success–is the pathway to ultimate success.
Obviously you will have to succeed at some point.
But if you fear people ratting you out, for instance, then a great thing to do would be to tell a bunch of people bluntly whatever it is you’re scared of people finding out.
I did that once and got myself banned from a mall, but it was worth it. Now, looking back, I should have had no fear or shame of what I was doing in that mall, but because I wanted people to challenge me, they did.
If you’re afraid of people looking and staring, then you’d best spend some of your time making people look and stare and learn to enjoy it.
Nowadays I find myself doing things and then only AFTER the fact realizing a bunch of people are watching me, and that just makes it even better.
If you’re afraid of cops, the only real remedy is to get yourself detained a bunch of times. Talk to cops. Let them be rude to you and ask you “why do you have an attitude?”
Sure. You know that Trump has a net worth of 4 billion USD?
I find it funny that the media is shitting all over Trump every chance they get, saying that after every caucus and debate his controversial statements have destroyed him. And yet he just keeps on winning.
Did you know that another notoriously famous historical figure had a lifetime of failure before his big success?
When I was a child, my parents had a framed print across from my bedroom called Portrait of an Achiever. Below that title was this list:
1832 Failed in business–bankruptcy
1832 Defeated for legislature
1834 Failed in business–bankrupty
1835 Fiancee died
1836 Nervous breakdown
1838 Defeated in election
1843 Defeated for U.S. Congress
1848 Defeated for U.S. Congress
1855 Defeated for U.S. Senate
1856 Defeated for Vice President
1858 Defeated for U.S. Senate
Had you stopped there, you would have missed the final point:
1860 Elected President of the United States of America
The subject, of course was Abraham Lincoln.
Once you fail enough that you are sick of failure and there is nothing left it can really teach you, then you can focus better on success.
If you hit on thousands of women and don’t get anywhere with them, and there is little fear of rejection left to experience, and the cops have detained you multiple times and you’ve had your heart broken and soul crushed and cried in the middle of the street 5 times, and then you finally meet a girl who blows your mind and you’ve fallen in love and then she disappears only days later, then you will realize there is nothing really holding you back at that point.
Ironically, once we’ve experienced the worst and manifested our fears, later on it is easy to see that we created them. Even if nothing on the surface has changed, people will respond differently to us based on what we are giving out.
If we truly on the inside believe in ourselves, and are focused on success, then “failure” is much less likely to happen.
But if on the inside you are plagued by paranoia, then don’t be surprised when people attack you or treat you like the very thing you’re afraid of being.
I’ve never gotten into any “trouble” just for talking to women in a very long time, and it’s because I got over my beliefs and failed a lot and had to face my worst fears. But now I no longer fear anything, and I don’t care if 20 people are watching. In my mind and my perspective, what I am doing is perfectly normal and natural, and so that is exactly how people treat me.
The other day I talked to an underage girl who said, “I’m 16” and walked away. An older woman and a middle-aged guy were watching about ten feet away. The older woman was just smiling and the guy said, “Nice try.”
Did they glare at me or call the police? No. Did they rudely tell me off? No.
And is that still a possibility? Yes, but I don’t fear it and honestly now that my fears and limit beliefs about sex and women are gone, it’s very unlikely.
But to get over them, I had to actually HAVE the worst happen to me and I had to act in spite of unsupportive people.
I remember actually going places with my mom and then hitting on girls right in front of her. I would be walking with my mom somewhere and then literally take off, and go talk to a girl without any shame.
It shocked my mom and she couldn’t wrap her head around the concept, but my vision was stronger than the reality my parents engrained in me.
Years later, now I just text pictures of my hot-ass girlfriends to my parents and they do their best to pretend like they’re not jealous.
Yes, I got stopped by cops. Yes, I got rejected a lot. Yes, I got my ego crushed more than a few times. Yes, I gave up a lot and cried a lot and threw things at the wall and thought there was some huge unfixable problem.
I had friends abandon me, I got kicked out of parties for not being cool enough, I blew a lot of time and money and, yes, I failed 6 or more times in a row by jacking off to porn or lying in bed or quitting my worthless jobs or even just getting told to “stop approaching people” and quietely give up.
But it was just all in my head. And by going through all of that failure, I got so sick and desensitized to it that there was really nothing left to do except go for success.
If you’re so afraid of failure that you will only accept success, then you are in for a long hard road of disappointment and holding back.
It takes a RISK, you know, to actually get there.
And now I can stick it to all those people who don’t matter. My shitty parents included.
It’s that kind of thinking that represents an inability to let things go.
“But ending things is letting them go!”
No. It’s not.
Letting things go means it truly doesn’t matter. Things can be imperfect and they can flow and it won’t matter because you have REFOCUSED on something else.
A breakup, for example.
Humans have a tendency to want hard lines for things when there usually are none. Wanting these hard lines is merely a distraction from whatever it is they are SUPPOSED to be doing.
“I just want closure!”
No, you just want more attention.
What a waste of time.
If your girlfriend’s cheating, for example, there is nothing to be done except find a new woman. so if you are hung up on dumping her and how horrible the emotions feel and how she needs to be put in her place, then you haven’t let it go.
It’s eating up at you because you have nothing more important going on. You are attached to transient, ineffable things because of your need for attention.
If you can’t walk away tomorrow and completely forget about something or someone, and just move on, then you are hopelessly focused on something worthless like control or attention.
If a person doesn’t want to be with you, and they cheat, then why the fuck do you care? Just see someone else and forget about them. They might even come back.
If you’re sitting in your room waiting for them to call, you’ve only revealed one of the reasons they might not want to be with you in the first place. But beside that, I feel strongly that the real problem is you’re binding your energy.
Putting all your time and effort into waiting on someone is a demonstration that they have taken over your life, or at least that you have an “unhealthy” attachment. I hate the word unhealthy, but it’s the best word to convey that “putting your life on hold” for anything is weakness.
It’s better than freaking out or wasting yourself.
I’ve seen many people, including friends, make their lives an [anxious wreck][link]. Clothes all over the floor, not getting important things done, excessive worrying. It’s always some excuse:
I can’t move on with my life until this problem is solved!
I don’t care if you know for a fact you’re going to be homeless tomorrow; you’d better clean your fucking room, hit the fucking gym without a care in the world, and do all of the other productive things you need to do. Not to mention that you need to solve the problem of being fucking homeless. But if it’s out of your hands, then it’s out of your hands.
For once I actually agree with those ninnies that say “put your problems in God’s hands.”
I don’t mean ignore your problems. I mean that they should not be “problems.” You should not be so attached to them.
You’ve got to get in touch with your SPIRIT instead of your “life.”
Life is transient. It’s ephemeral. It means nothing. It’s a construct; an illusion at worst.
YOU are far more important than “your life.”
And ironically when people have “shitty lives” it’s not about their life, it’s about them. It’s about the importance they place on things and their egos and their drama and their constant worrying.
“Life” is actually a direct manifestation of YOU, and for everything else there’s MasterCard.
Don’t cry about what you can’t change and stop begging for closure.