What you’re really looking for

What you’re really looking for is yourself.

Men play the field or let themselves go for that one “special woman,” the one who rips their heart out and drives them insane. There is often little in-between.

The real truth is that these men do not hate women, they are just covering their hatred of themselves.

When I suggest that women and men are much the same and that there is no soulmate out there, that may seem as a justifiable excuse for “pumping and dumping” women.

But in fact it is a call to stop the external search.

You will not find what you are looking for by your conmdemnation of women.

You’ve got to stop holding women accountable for your own self-esteem.

The only way to do this is to learn the hard way.

Admittedly I had to learn this my way, and I was the asshole for a while. I was rigidly attached to finding love as a self-acceptance mechanism. I can even point to the exact triggers and lifetime events that culminated in this perspective.

But that didn’t make the gripping insecurity any less hard to deal with.

No one is ever going to love you as severely as you can love yourself.

So it’s time to let the women go, and take them as they are. They are real people, just polluted human beings like men.

By all means, spread your wild oats.

But keep in mind not to involve yourself with the wrong people.

And to do that, you must right yourself first.

Men and women are the same

Not all women are like that.

In fact, not all men are like that either.

Women are shallow and only seem to want one thing. They frequently make mistakes by choosing the kind of men that are going to abuse them and push them around, and they secretly like the abuse because its addictive.

They go on internet forums for support during breakups.

And it’s true that men are crazy. One moment they are telling you they love you, the next they are ignoring all of your calls and texts.

Men are hypergamous.

They only want the most beautiful women, the ones who take care of them the most and are the most exciting. If given the choice between a hot woman and an ugly one, men will often choose the hotter one even if she suffers personality and is a total bitch.

Men tend to like “bad girls.” They are drawn to the women who will have a hard time committing and are great in bed.

I am convinced that most red pill men are, in fact, the exact same as the women they get into trouble with. They wonder why their relationship is sour because they have a demanding, controlling woman who won’t have sex with them.

What they don’t realize is they are the exact same way. They are just as controlling and “abusive.”

And they all like it that way because men and women like that are drawn to each other, they are both equally damaged.

Yes, it’s true that there are minor differences in the sexes. Men have a lot more tesosterone, women have visibly more body fat and less muscle, along with tits, they have periods and babies, and men seem more wired for casual sex.

But as far as everything else goes, it really does appear to be cultural…or, rather, conditioned.

It’s hard to make the claim that women love men with money and that men don’t love women with money when we live in a culture where men are all programmed to spend money on women and women are programmed to get away with whatever they want without consequence.

For all the talk of how women love badboys, let’s not forget that men love the bad girls too. They are addicted to the drama and the battles of control. Or else why would they all stay with lying, deceptive borderline women?

It’s the sexual energy, of course.

I love the song “She’s Always A Woman” by Billy Joel. Though it’s sung about women, I was skeptical last time I listened to it, and decided to flip the song around. See if you can find yourself in the new lyrics:

He can kill with a smile
He can wound with his eyes
He can ruin your faith with his casual lies
And he only reveals what he wants you to see
He hides like a child
But he’s always a man to me

He can lead you to love
He can take you or leave you
He can ask for the truth
But he’ll never believe you
And he’ll take what you give him as long as it’s free
Yeah, he steals like a thief
But he’s always a man to me

Oh, he takes care of himself
He can wait if he wants
He’s ahead of his time
Oh, and he never gives out
And he never gives in
He just changes his mind

He will promise you more
Than the Garden of Eden
Then he’ll carelessly cut you
And laugh while you’re bleedin’
But he’ll bring out the best
And the worst you can be
Blame it all on yourself
Cause he’s always a man to me

Oh, he takes care of himself
He can wait if he wants
He’s ahead of his time
Oh, and he never gives out
And he never gives in
He just changes his mind

He is frequently kind
And he’s suddenly cruel
He can do as he pleases
He’s nobody’s fool
But he can’t be convicted
He’s earned his degree
And the most he will do
Is throw shadows at you
But he’s always a man to me

If you want to fit the rhythm better and really get a good laugh, just replace the word “man” with “alpha,” and you’ll get the stereotypical alpha that all these idiots talk about online: charming, lying, independent, invulernable, abusive, non-committal.

It’s almost as if we as humans are all lying cheating deceptive bastards…

Especially the ones we fall hardest for.

Stop giving women a free pass

I will never take care of a woman.

Paying for a woman’s bills and fully supporting her does not make me a “Man.”

It makes me more like her FATHER. And she became an adult a long time ago.

When you think about it, what is a girl who relies on a man for all of her needs?

She is a leech. A parasite.

I imagined myself as a girl living under such a scenario, and I imagined being very bored and very restless and utterly disgusted with my own laziness.

I then imagined myself as a very rich man with money to spare taking care of everything for a girl while she sits around and does…something. I was disgusted.

She didn’t have to work for that money, I did, and so nobody else gets access to it. Especially not just because they are women.

There is no real scientific evidence that men are providers and women are supposed to be taken care of. Humans are so distantly and wildly different than gorillas, which is where evolutionary psychology concepts originate. And gorillas themselves are wildly differentiated in social structure and behavior than even other monkeys.

So comparing humans to any other monkey species is wild speculation at best. We are too advanced, too complex.

When you as a man take care of a woman, you give her your energy and you take her energy. You lower yourself to your weakest link.

You can never be strong leeching off of the weak because you will only ever be as strong as the energy that they give you.

This works both ways–for both the parasite and the giver. It’s really just common sense. But think about it.

Spending money on women and buying them shit and driving them around and ordering them around and paying all their bills is treating them like children.

But they’re not children. They’re adults.

Women act like children because they are taught to, and because we let them. Not because they are actually children. Because they’re not.

I have no respect for a woman who demands to be treated like a child, like a “lady.”

And a lot of men (that media would label “mysoginists”) these days would say “That’s good, women don’t need to be respected.”

And you’re right, they don’t. So why waste your time on them again?

But wait! Isn’t it great to have a bunch of women as your slaves?

No. The truly strong person does not want or need slaves.

But why?

Because he is repulsed by them.

When I think about women acting like children, I am truly repulsed. I cannot stand people acting weak and rather than take advantage of them, i just want to grab them by the shoulders and shake them, or slap them, or drive them to achieve their potential and stop being weak.

But I can’t. The people all around me won’t stop being weak.

And so you’ll forgive me when I don’t take care of women or treat them the way they want to be coddled like little 5-year-olds.

I have MUCH higher standards for them, and most of them fail to meet these standards.

A lot of men would suggest that there are huge differences between women and men, but this is false.

I will now say what 99% of the manosphere-red-pill-esque people never say:

Men do all of the same stupid things women do.

Many men are stupid. They don’t get the truth. They complain, they want to be coddled. They look up to others and want to be taken care of.

It’s not as blatant as women’s programming because men are taught ot be stoic and emotionless and, of course, to get rich so that they can take care of their women (LOL!).

But all I see are a bunch of rat-race losers.

Real men do not set out to play the rat-race game of big house, kids, hot wife.

They seek a purpose in life and inspiration for THEMSELVES. This is strength. They do not coddle others.

And this goes for women.

Women need a purpose too. Women are men are much alike. They are the same species, after all.

I don’t buy into the bullshit anymore that men are the providers and women are the caretakers. And for all those of you “evo psych” people out there who love alpha males and beta males, of which I used to be fond of, the truth is that these models are based on species so radically different from humans they cannot be used as a valid comparison.

I have always been baffled by the use of mice in science before human trials and this is no different.

Wolves and monkeys are not so simplistic in social structure, and there are a BILLION other social structures out there to observe in the animal kingdom that defy the traditional patriarchy model.

Enough with all the crap. Stop allowing women free license to get free rides in society.

Men, you have a greater purpose than to enslave women and provide for them and make them dependent on you and lose their soul and become parasitic leeches.

And women, stop pretending to be victims and stupid.

Men don’t owe you money and I’d like a real strong woman to go out there and become her own breadwinner and inspire me to reach my potential. I would prefer an equal.

I’ve done the whole love slave thing, the whole “women are children” thing. It’s gotten old because I can’t stand being “psychologist” and teacher all the time to unwilling students. I hate people’s pathetic behavior and when I am exposed to weakness I either avoid it or try to nip it in the bud.

I never coddle women or give them an easy pass. If they are complaining, I tell them to shut up and stop whining like a little bitch. Because that is what I would say to a man.

If they are acting like children, I tell them so. If they are making excuses about their lack of progress or how their parents hold them back, I point out how they don’t actually need anyone else, including me, and that they can make their own decisions.

I’d rather see a bird fly away from my nest and be free than keep a woman around as a doting child with no real mind of her own.

I know, it’s very “un-red-pill” of me.

But I do not accept the social narrative and I don’t have to play by its rules. I simply don’t want to.

Those of you who enjoy the game of vapid trivialities, go do it.

But there are more important things, and rewarding things, and I know that I will never find my equal amongst women.

We do NOT NEED a soulmate outside of ourselves. We are all searching for one, even if secretly, but the truth is that you only need YOU to be whole.

I take women as they are…or, rather, as they choose to behave.

And I will hold you men to the same standard.

People in general act stupid and I would rather see the potential in them than take advantage of them.

I think men in general should all hold much higher standards for women, especially the ones they are serious with but also the ones they go casual with.

If we all stopped putting up with women’s behaviors and rewarding them for it, then they’d be forced to adapt.

Many “red pill” men claim not to “put women on a pedestal.”

Yes these same “red pill” men actually allow women their childish behaviors because it is IN THEIR NATURE and that “ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT.” So even the “enlightened” men of our new era are GIVING WOMEN A FREE PASS.

This is really a contradiction that reveals more about the victim mentality of the men themselves.

So here’s the solution:

Stop giving women free passes.

They are NOT children.

They are NOT stupid.


They are NOT more deceitful and manipulative and weak and shallow by nature than men because ALL HUMANS ARE THESE THINGS BY NATURE.

And don’t get me started on “hypergamy.” MEN ARE HYPERGAMOUS TOO.

Men pick the hotter, tighter, wetter, funnier girl over the uglier, fatter, stupider, etc. girl.

Hypergamy exists in both sexes. Vigorously. And it is nothing new. Everyone does it.

And finally, both men and women are capable of love and falling in love. And love CAN surpass shallow differences.

But you cannot meet a woman as an equal when she just wants to be a leech.

Do yourself a favor.

Throw the garbage out.


– Pissing people off since 1969,
James Mast


It all started with a cold approach

Somewhere down along the line, there had to be a cold approach.

A “cold call,” if you will, from one man to another man or woman that eventually resulted in a relationship or a hookup in the “social circle.”

But without that first approach, it never would have been.

Let’s say one guy, John, “bumped into” a girl at a social function and started talking to her, that’s still a “cold approach” for all that term is worth. He had to open his mouth and he just happened to be right next to her instead of walking all the way up to her.

From that conversation, a social circle was born.

They went to parties together. He brought his friends, she brought her friends.

At that party, one of the girls in the group, Sarah, was highly desirable. A lone wolf rolled up to her and asked her for her name. She told him to get lost because, and I quote, “I don’t talk to guys I don’t know.”

But she lied.

Because just the other day she was forced to meet the guy friends of the guy who had made the new social circle with the girl. She was standing next to him! His name was Timmy.

Timmy and her were goofing around that night. Over the course of several months, they eventually fell into a relationship together, and Sarah and Timmy both rested easy.

Timmy rested easy because he used “social circle game” to get the girl and didn’t have to deal with those low-odds “cold approaches”, and Sarah rested easy because she never had to talk to “randos” she didn’t know.

But what neither of them realized is that they wouldn’t be standing next to each other today if John hadn’t met Sally at the yoga studio, and done the necessary brazen action to get the two groups of their friends together.

Meanwhile, Mr. Lone Wolf who hit on Sarah isn’t bothered by her ridiculous notion that she never talks to guys she doesn’t know.

He’s too buy fooling around with Amy, Sarah’s best friend, who he “cold approached” because he, like John, wasn’t afraid of talking to girls he didn’t know and didn’t buy into the narrative excuses.

Somewhere down the line, there had to be a cold approach. Don’t kid yourself.

Go cold approach your ass off.

– Love,
James Mast

Start failing to become great

“We learn more from our failures than from our successes.”

The one thing that will make you great, that will put you further ahead than anyone you know who is trying or struggling, is the ability to fail on purpose.

You want to STRIVE to fail.

You spend so much fucking time trying not to fail. It’s your greatest fear, and it’s why you don’t go all in.

It’s holding you back so much that there is only one viable solution:

You want to fail your ass off, and enjoy it.

Before I got any good with women, I went through 7 years of on-off talking to women. For months at a time I would spend 6-7 hours a day talking to girls and in the offtime I would be playing piano to vent my sexual rage or eating food.

Then it would be back out there, anywhere, wherever I could find to hit on girls.

This led to cyclical depression. As I failed to get laid, I would jack off to porn and hit depression and be bedridden.

But over the course of the years, I learned to get better at handling defeat. So much so that I never got out the porn. I didn’t stay in bed for days.

Even after the cops kicked me out of the gym just for talking to some girls (incidentally I picked up the hottest girl I’ve ever been with at that gym), I used that failure to propel me.

Instead of being afraid of getting kicked out of places or afraid of rejection, I came to embrace it because my fear had gone away.

The only real fear is fear itself, and that becomes intimately true once you experience the fear.


That’s the best way to stop being afraid.

Get yourself in trouble, and instead of always avoiding the worst, just go out and experience it so that you don’t have to worry about it anymore.

You’re holding back because of that Fear, and once you finally get through it you will realize that there is not much left to lose, or that getting into trouble really isn’t so bad.

Failure–not success–is the pathway to ultimate success.

Obviously you will have to succeed at some point.

But if you fear people ratting you out, for instance, then a great thing to do would be to tell a bunch of people bluntly whatever it is you’re scared of people finding out.

I did that once and got myself banned from a mall, but it was worth it. Now, looking back, I should have had no fear or shame of what I was doing in that mall, but because I wanted people to challenge me, they did.

If you’re afraid of people looking and staring, then you’d best spend some of your time making people look and stare and learn to enjoy it.

Nowadays I find myself doing things and then only AFTER the fact realizing a bunch of people are watching me, and that just makes it even better.

If you’re afraid of cops, the only real remedy is to get yourself detained a bunch of times. Talk to cops. Let them be rude to you and ask you “why do you have an attitude?”

Then, of course, lock your doors and never talk to police again.

But my point is that if fears are holding you back, either experience them or accept the consequences of failure.

There are lists out there of famous people in business or otherwise who failed, such as by going bankrupt.

In this article by RedState some idiot author talks about how Trump has failed at a bunch of businesses and his latest failure with Trump Mortgage:

His decision to embrace the mortgage business illustrates the potential dangers of a business philosophy that has relied in part on a willingness to put aside the advice of experts and take risks.

Sure. You know that Trump has a net worth of 4 billion USD?

I find it funny that the media is shitting all over Trump every chance they get, saying that after every caucus and debate his controversial statements have destroyed him. And yet he just keeps on winning.

Did you know that another notoriously famous historical figure had a lifetime of failure before his big success?

From The Millionare Real Estate Agent:

When I was a child, my parents had a framed print across from my bedroom called Portrait of an Achiever. Below that title was this list:

  • 1832 Failed in business–bankruptcy
  • 1832 Defeated for legislature
  • 1834 Failed in business–bankrupty
  • 1835 Fiancee died
  • 1836 Nervous breakdown
  • 1838 Defeated in election
  • 1843 Defeated for U.S. Congress
  • 1848 Defeated for U.S. Congress
  • 1855 Defeated for U.S. Senate
  • 1856 Defeated for Vice President
  • 1858 Defeated for U.S. Senate

Had you stopped there, you would have missed the final point:

  • 1860 Elected President of the United States of America

The subject, of course was Abraham Lincoln.

Once you fail enough that you are sick of failure and there is nothing left it can really teach you, then you can focus better on success.

If you hit on thousands of women and don’t get anywhere with them, and there is little fear of rejection left to experience, and the cops have detained you multiple times and you’ve had your heart broken and soul crushed and cried in the middle of the street 5 times, and then you finally meet a girl who blows your mind and you’ve fallen in love and then she disappears only days later, then you will realize there is nothing really holding you back at that point.

Ironically, once we’ve experienced the worst and manifested our fears, later on it is easy to see that we created them. Even if nothing on the surface has changed, people will respond differently to us based on what we are giving out.

If we truly on the inside believe in ourselves, and are focused on success, then “failure” is much less likely to happen.

But if on the inside you are plagued by paranoia, then don’t be surprised when people attack you or treat you like the very thing you’re afraid of being.

I’ve never gotten into any “trouble” just for talking to women in a very long time, and it’s because I got over my beliefs and failed a lot and had to face my worst fears. But now I no longer fear anything, and I don’t care if 20 people are watching. In my mind and my perspective, what I am doing is perfectly normal and natural, and so that is exactly how people treat me.

The other day I talked to an underage girl who said, “I’m 16” and walked away. An older woman and a middle-aged guy were watching about ten feet away. The older woman was just smiling and the guy said, “Nice try.”

Did they glare at me or call the police? No. Did they rudely tell me off? No.

And is that still a possibility? Yes, but I don’t fear it and honestly now that my fears and limit beliefs about sex and women are gone, it’s very unlikely.

But to get over them, I had to actually HAVE the worst happen to me and I had to act in spite of unsupportive people.

I remember actually going places with my mom and then hitting on girls right in front of her. I would be walking with my mom somewhere and then literally take off, and go talk to a girl without any shame.

It shocked my mom and she couldn’t wrap her head around the concept, but my vision was stronger than the reality my parents engrained in me.

Years later, now I just text pictures of my hot-ass girlfriends to my parents and they do their best to pretend like they’re not jealous.

Yes, I got stopped by cops. Yes, I got rejected a lot. Yes, I got my ego crushed more than a few times. Yes, I gave up a lot and cried a lot and threw things at the wall and thought there was some huge unfixable problem.

I had friends abandon me, I got kicked out of parties for not being cool enough, I blew a lot of time and money and, yes, I failed 6 or more times in a row by jacking off to porn or lying in bed or quitting my worthless jobs or even just getting told to “stop approaching people” and quietely give up.

But it was just all in my head. And by going through all of that failure, I got so sick and desensitized to it that there was really nothing left to do except go for success.

If you’re so afraid of failure that you will only accept success, then you are in for a long hard road of disappointment and holding back.

It takes a RISK, you know, to actually get there.

And now I can stick it to all those people who don’t matter. My shitty parents included.

You all shitted on me, but it was only because I shitted on myself for so long until there was only one direction to go.

And it was the only way.

Attract women by being a human being

Heartiste is a clever bird and seems to have very real experience with women.

However, as any great man can do, he makes generalizations based on his own perspective. Since you attract what you attract, he attracts manipulative women and actually PLAYS THEIR GAME.

In the situation above, for example, I would have called the girl out on her fucking bullshit and demanded she have a real conversation with me. Maybe I could have gotten her crying. Maybe I could have found the real person beneath the veneer.

I am not interested in playing games, I only play them as a seduction tool to get to the real person beneath. And that is my forte.

Never underestimate the power of candor. Candor is a great word and it really expresses how a real man should be interacting; not just with women, but for himself with everyone. This is how you filter out everybody who disagrees with you and inhabit your authentic self.

It becomes easier, after a while, and can in fact result in much more powerful “reactions” from people than if one were to play games.

Case in point:

One time my newfound-love was sitting on the couch blabbering about my lack of Facebook presence. She wanted to know what I did for a living, she thought I was a liar.

I told her, honestly, that I was done playing games and that I just wanted to have love. I wanted to have something “real.” Tears came to my eyes. I really felt like crying, and I couldn’t explain it. So I let the tears flow and made sure the words out of my mouth were honest.

And I knew this would “work.” And it did. Suddenly her eyes lit up and her mouth hung open a bit, and it was like she was awestruck. She grabbed me by the shoulders and said “Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” She kept saying she was sorry and pecking me on the cheek, and then she invited me upstairs and we lay in bed and talked.

I never had a problem with the Facebook thing again.

Heartiste knocks the “player” character in this example for being candid and getting defensive. But it has been repeatedly demonstrated by science and by Heartiste’s own psychological posts that not backing down and being persistent is a fervent display or confidence. It is better than giving in and especially better than apologizing (which you should never do).

I never apologize about anything ever and I can’t say I have ever suffered for it.

Anyway, my point is that being candid and open and honest and expressing the true self will naturally filter out incompatible women, and this is a GOOD thing. Chris from Goodlookingloser calls it “Screening“.

Although in Chris’ case he screens physically for immediate sexual availability, which may or may not be in your best interest if you are looking for relationships.


It’s not hard to see Heartiste’s obvious modus operandi–his ridiculous and endless amount of posts analyzing the “alphaness” of photographs and emails and articles and pointing out all the flaws and errors reeks of a mind that is too smart for its own good and constant attempts at self-justification. I would know. I did the same thing myself for quite a while on many different forums and it is transparent to me now that I was trying to overcompensate for a lack of confidence in myself because I was attempting to measure up against roles and standards that weren’t in my nature.

It is possible to change your nature, but attempting to conceal it or act a part can result in being inauthentic.

Consider this:

You’re walking down the street and you see a pretty blonde. Your natural instinct is to go up and say something. But you consciously decide you need to act “aloof.” And then during conversation with her instead of being candid about a simple question she asks, such as “What are you up to?” you say “Nothing much” and turn to look to the side, acting aloof and disinterested.

Even if she doesn’t see through this, you will feel like little bugs are eating away at you. To sustain this mask will not make you feel good. It will be downright uncomfortable. And when the girl loses interest, say by mentioning “I have to go now, it was nice talking to you!” then it will be your fault for playing a role instead of just letting the girl see your fervor and eagerness and the real deal.

Author xsplat really talks up this concept of the “high-energy man” and it’s a good place to start. Not everyone is high energy, but I was born that way.

I was born to be wild.

In fact there are a dozen other titles for my website I could have picked. The “Rebel” is mostly an image and a front.

As I’ve said before, being rebellious is still an attachment to the very thing you are rebelling against, and the key is to focus on you, not focus on rebellion. Focusing on what you WANT to do makes you a natural rebel, but the focus should not be rebellion.

Don’t fall to the level of your enemy.

But in my life I have found that rebellion against every rule or concept or precedent was necessary. As Mike from Danger and Play mentions, at first you will feel great shame. But after a while the shame will be replaced with something:


Rebellion for its own sake

To follow one’s own rules requires initial rebellion against everything.

Only when you have broken apart your perception toward every single idea can you begin to forge your own REAL experience.

You are not rebelling against rules without a cause.


Your own inner fire will keep you continually rebelling to build strength.

The average idiot doesn’t know how to do this. They won’t see any benefit unless there is some tangible reward.

But take it from me.

I’ve gotten myself into a lot of trouble [link to borderline article].

But I can handle all sorts of situations that most people would bend over for. I’ve been through hell and I’m still going through hell but I can take it.

Every single bad situation you find yourself in is an opportunity to feed the Fire.

I’m talking about that fervor for life that makes it worth living. To make you feel alive! You can actually become more powerful by getting yourself into trouble [link to temptation article].

Especially with women, you don’t have to play their game. I encourage conflict with women and I encourage you to go ahead and be defensive or attentive. Stop playing aloof and stop pretending to be great. Instead, focus on your desire.

This is a principle used in business.

It is NOT about how great your business is.

It’s about how you can serve people’s NEEDS.

And women have a far greater need for emotion and, yes, sex, than they do fame or riches or games or manipulation.

You can “be yourself”–but that will mean inviting conflict.

And that’s good. That might lose you the girl.

But it will make YOU a stronger person.

Not all women are manipulative cunts


The internet is a terrible and terrific place to learn about women.

There are so many assholes out there unwittingly leading you astray that as a young man I brutally fucked up my worldview following the bread-and-butter “alpha male” websites teaching us that women can’t be trusted and that they will always screw you over if you’re not careful.

As Mike Cernovich mentions, not all women “shit test,” i.e. put up a false front to test for weakness in a man.

I myself have experienced my own woman brutally challenging me constantly, even though I have proven myself many times over. And many times I have witnessed this woman “giving up” sex as a method of manipulation, rather than desire.

She would never admit it, but I see right through that shit.

What I have seen is that my woman withholds sex, mostly unconsciously, because she has been taught and raised to treat sex with that perspective. This does not make her a whore or a golddigger, even though she appears to be one at times, but rather it just indicates her own unhealthy personal perspective.

And that is the point of this post:

All women are different and they all have slightly different perspectives, JUST LIKE MEN.

Since I am somewhat manipulative myself, I used to play these games with women. But now, having come from the dark side and being older and wiser, I see right through it when it happens.

Once my woman came to me and instead of having sex she started getting dressed. I asked her what she was doing. She said that we should go out to bars, and flirt with other people, and see what happens.

I lay there in bed, honestly not wanting to go out to the bars AT ALL, and it occurred to me that I had to shut down this game before it started.

Though at the time I had little experience with honesty and authenticity over gameplaying, I still managed a perfect execution.

I said, “I don’t want to go out to the bars. And what the fuck do you mean let’s flirt with other people? We are together, so let’s not play games. Let’s have sex instead.”

The cornered woman gave me a bit of challenge but I kept up my honesty. Then she replied,

“You’re right. I’m just playing games. I don’t know what I was thinking. Let’s be together.”

If I recall correctly we actually had sex after that.

And imagine: in today’s world, most men would be taught to follow up her gameplaying by going out and proving what an “alpha” they were, or flirting with other girls to turn her on.

But I personally no longer care for that kind of manipulation.

Chateau Heartiste, apex “manosphere” blogger, reveals exactly the kind of mindset the internet is encouraging in this partiular post about a woman who plays games.

What’s revealing is that, instead of calling the girl out on her bullshit, Heartiste happily goes along with the girl and plays her game, and then ends up having sex with her.

But this is pathetic.

After playing so many games, I would not then indulge in this girl’s behavior. If I were on the first date with this chick, I would have played along with a bit of small talk, and then said,

“Why in the fuck are you acting this way?” and called her out on all her bullshit, calmly and matter-of-factly.

Then, if she responded with sincerity, maybe the date would continue.

If she did not, then I would walk. That simple.

Heartiste seems content to “play the game,” but what he is missing is that the game is a prison.

I repeat: not all women are manipulative and controlling scum who will test you and battle you and challenge you and drive you insane.

If those are the only women you know of, and you must delve into evolutionary psychology to prove it, then perhaps you are only revealing the sinister gameplayer at your core.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I just encourage you to seek BEYOND the game. It’s useful to know, but it is self-limiting. And once you stop playing the games and encourage genuineness with yourself, you will see right through the manipulations of the women around you, and if you’re like me then you will stop being aroused by them.

Today my girlfriend wanted my attention so badly she kept kissing me and tried to have sex with me. But I resisted her advances, until finally she broke. She started lashing out at me and calling me names like “loser” and tears welled up in her eyes. She became desperate to know if we could still be together.

This woman has broken it off with me multiple times in the last week, and keeps wanting to “make up” again.

But what she has is not true sexual desire.

It is manipulation.

Sex is a tool on her toolbelt to rope in a man, and again, I repeat, NOT ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT. I know from firsthand experience. And when you encounter a woman like this, ask yourself:

Do I share these same values?

If not, and you’d rather find a woman who actually WANTS to fuck, then maybe you’d just better run.

Because ALL women will give you warning signs and red flags LONG before their major issues surface, and it’s up to you not to entertain those relationships unless you want (or need) the experience.

Trust me–or, rather, TRUST YOURSELF.

The gut never lies, but more importantly things are often far more obvious than we try to pretend they aren’t.

People can easily read other people, or tell if they are lying. They just don’t trust their own judgment. I’d link the scientific studies but you can find them on your own and it’s common sense, really.

So when you encounter a woman who strikes you as being a potential user, or lyer, or manipulator, or as being emotionally or sexually fucked up, then you better goddamn trust yourself and not wait to be so very right later.

If the woman seems like she has sexual problems, then she probably does.

If you think she’s too judgmental, then she probably is.

And if you never see her smile and sense she is unhappy, then she probably is.

My advice to you?

Call her out on her bullshit, and then RUN.

It is never cowardly to cut people out of your life before they have a chance. Do you purposely let a hammer drop on your toe to see what happens?

No. You already know what will happen.

No need to drop the hammer just to see the details of the consequences. Some things just aren’t worth exploring.

That said, I fully encourage you to run the gamut of experiences with women to develop your own intuition.

But until then, just remember not to get too involved with one wrong woman. Because they are NOT all like that.

Even if it sometimes seems that way.
Your relationship counselor,
James Mast

Why the “Red Pill” sucks

The reason the red pill sucks is because is has an inherent distrust of women.

It also sucks because it stole that fancy Matrix term that can be applied to so much more than just the nature of women.

I don’t ever fully trust anybody, in fact I am extremely paranoid and take steps to control things before they happen. This is an ability I developed, it was not inborn. And it has since paid off in spades, further validating that you should never completely trust anybody or expect anything. And it’s not personal.

That said, the red pill takes it in a completely other direction.

Just today I red another silly reddit thread where one man asks his fellow losers, “What does it mean when she says she needs space?”

They all talked about how he needed to be indifferent, and that she was on the fence, and that she might be trying to fuck other guys.

Well my girlfriend told me she needed space, but she also was quite sexual with me and I fucked her good and the reason she told me that was because I was an added stressor on her already dilapidated life and she had extreme anxiety and loose boundaries and costantly took her problems out on other people.

So telling me she needed space was literally her way of telling me, “I need space.” She wanted me out of her apartment because she was already poorly managing everything and I wasn’t financially supporting her or buying shit for her apartment as much as I was providing direction and fucking her brains out.

It wasn’t personal, in other words. And she wasn’t fucking other guys.

But I have no doubt if I posted such a situation on reddit or any forum then I would get 10 redpill assholes all telling me that I need to “soft next” her or “be aloof and indifferent” or some other technique when in reality she is her own person with her own problems and if she cheats on me, that says more about her than me, and if she wants space, then why would I want to live with her anyway?

What’s funny is the OP in the thread I read actually came to such a conclusion himself, before succumbing to the advice he was bombarded with.

“I don’t want to be with a woman who doesn’t want to commit as much as I do,” he says, which is a striking realization on his behalf. Knowing what you want is half the battle, and this fellow has figured out that if a woman is having reservations, it’s not really his job to change himself for her or do anything different unless he wants to or CAN.

In this case perhaps a better woman should just be found.

And that’s why the Red Pill sucks.

There’s a lot of responsibility on your shoulders when you take everything a woman does personally. Remember that she has her own fucking problems especially if she’s a broken bird (which many are) and the last thing you need to do is resolve them because unless she stands up on her own two feet and goes out and does exactly what you’ve been telling her to do, then she’s not in it to get saved. She’s in it to be a victim, and pretend to want to be saved.

There’s no point in spending a lot of money on these type of women. They are broken and while you might love them, insatiably, and KNOW and SEE their potential, ultimately it would behoove you to leave them if your goal is a more equal partner because, as you will find, these women are a reflection of the vast majority of ALL humans in GENERAL, meaning both men and women, and friends and family. Just because she’s a love interest doesn’t make her special.

That’s painful because we view everything through our sexual blinders, but that’s ok.

The point here is just that the Red Pill tactics and advice and “gaming” techniques all really say more about the men themselves and the women they are dating, than they do about “all women in general.”

And if you can’t stop dating these broken women, then perhaps it’s time to find out why.
– James Mast

Are women really attracted to money and resources?


There is an ever-growing number of men in our culture who believe they are waking up to reality by “taking the red pill” and accepting that women require resource displays and “providers.”

But in all my observation of human behavior, the attitude of wanting things handed to us and skimping on personal responsibility is not an ability exclusive to women.

Today I was eating a salad and my girl opened her mouth wide for a bite. I didn’t give it to her.

But many men would say this is proof that a woman wants to “steal a man’s resources.” Sure. What they don’t take into account is that a man in her same situation would do the same.

Women in today’s modern culture are accustomed to this sort of childish entitled behavior precisely because men and other women encourage it.

In other words, it is not genetic or absolute that a woman must depend on a man or have him take care of her, whether finanically or otherwise.

It’s simply a fact that women of beauty seem to have all kinds of men willing to do things for her and many hot women take for granted the ease with which they glide through life because of that beauty.

But make no mistake, women selling their bodies for large sums of money are behaving “naturally.” At least not in the sense that nature intended for money to be exchanged for sex.

No, nature intended for humans to pair-bond and fall in love and THEN have mutually gratifying sex, or else we would be seeing a lot more rape and lot more money-grubbing.

But instead we see couples falling love, supporting each other, rich women dating loser assholes, and all kinds of other tropes in our culture.

So I would advise those men who think money is the answer to their women woes re-evaluate their shortcomings and beliefs about the world.

Money is great and solves all your problems, but it doesn’t ATTRACT women. At least not romantically or sexually.

It will most certainly “attract” the kind of vapid users that want to leech off your support.

Keep in mind, however, that all humans, whether men or women have the ability to freeload, to take advantage of, and be generally misleading and selfish for their personal gain.

There is nothing inherently selfish or “hypergamous” about women.

Men “trade up” all the time.

They use a girl for sex and then trade her in for a hotter one. Yet these same men who do this then complain about “female hypergamy” and how women are always looking to trade up for hotter, wealthier, stronger men.

If a woman is always willing to trade up for a wealthier man, then you’d best bet that woman is probably not a woman you’d want to associate yourself with anyway, unless of course you have a lot of money and nothing else to offer a woman.

Until next time,
James Mast

How most women tend to think in the moment

Women are more programmed in the moment.

To understand how women are not lying shrews, we must understand what is really going on when they say stupid shit.

“I wish my husband was more helpful.”

When a woman says a statement like this, the emotion in her brain is “life would be easier with some more help.” Duh. Everybody would think this.

But of course a domesticated man is not going to be as attractive to a woman, for a plethora of reasons. She’s not thinking about this when she is saying this statement.

She doesn’t mean her husband would be more sexually attractive and exciting if he did that. She’s just expressing an emotion of relief or appeased laziness.

When a woman says something like, “You always do this or that” she doesn’t actually mean you always do that.

The most common response to a woman’s accusations are a “Huh?” and rightfully so. A woman is just feeling how you are being, and that is what she will say.

It doesn’t actually follow the logic. And once you understand that, you can relate to women as women do.

A loser offers a woman a ride, and she says, “He’s such a nice guy.” That’s because he IS. He’s being NICE. And that does not mean she wants to fuck him.

So if you want to relate to a woman, you can say “Aww, that’s so sweet” and it will make perfect sense to her.

It doesn’t matter if that kind of behavior is personally detrimental. You can’t process everything a woman says and does as some Machiavellian slight.

Women do often talk in circles or in subtext, but that’s not necessarily inherent. Part of it is cultural.

Just keep in mind that you need to look more at the emotional motivations for a woman’s behavior than the actual words or behaviors.

That way you will know that when a woman is bitching it doesn’t mean there is really a problem. It may just mean she is hungry or PMSing. You might have done nothing “wrong.”

The best way to handle this is often by ignoring it or telling her to shut the fuck up [link to power article].

Or directing her to a solution to her emotional need.

Some women get very angry when they are horny. Some “shit test.” Just recognize that women are not devil’s spawn, they just operate in a different way.

If a woman is testing you, it might just mean she does not trust you.

A great thing to remember when dealing with women is never to take anything personally. Not unless it clearly IS personal.

Some women are manipulative and they aren’t even aware of why. It takes knowledge and experience to understand that men are like this too, and that it is just human nature.

The best way to deal with it is by understanding the rules of the game and understanding that the majority of people don’t really know why they do what they do.

When you find one who does, congratulations. But then you might dealing with a REAL manipulator, ha ha.

The only real solution is to look deeper. Deeper than words and concepts. Look at actions, at body language. Become AWARE.

It is a process, and it is not linear or black and white. I can’t even tell you how to get there.

All I know is that not everything must be explained. It’s not true that women are completely irrational and will never make sense. Just as it is not true that women are highly manipulative and working on ancient hypergamous instincts.

For the record, ALL humans are “hypergamous.” Many men would dump their girlfriend for a hotter, sweeter one.

We’re all cunts.

Remember that.

But also we all have the spiritual potential to be full of heart and cognizance. We CAN transcend our base desires and animal programming. But most won’t.

And it’s important to recognize this conflict so that you never have a problem wondering why peope behave so stupidly.

When a woman is ovulating, she wants your baby. Never mind that it’s not in her best interest.

In the throes of sexual surrender, I’ve cum when I shouldn’t and my sex drive has led me to do some very seemingly detrimental things.


Get with the program, kids. Women are not so hard to understand, but neither are they perfectly sensible. You can’t change people and you just have to play the game as best you can.

The best way to play is with honesty, or at least honesty with YOURSELF, and then knowing that most of the time people aren’t honest with themselves, or even intelligent, so how can they possibly relate to you on your level?

As time goes on the heartbreaks and the jealousy and the annoyances and the hatred will wear down and you will be filled with a knowing clarity, an inner mastery that understands that this is the game and that you are not to blame and that we all have to mistakes to learn.

Which is better?

Holding for dear life to our attachments, or having understanding?

Understanding by necessity involves mistakes and successes, and it is only through attemps and failures that we will reach it.

Understanding then, is wisdom, which will lead to future successes more easily.

Therefore, do not be so shy to fucking up. Do not beat yourself up too much and do not be led into dark temptation.

As long as you try and never give up, and learn to be more aware without all the surface-level bullshit, then you will be able to handle women better in the future.

And it is worth it, for as long as your drowning in your folly there will only be temporary pleasure and pain.

Aim and opt for real understanding, and then you will often resolve much of the pain by that alone.
People are not so evil, neither are they good. They just ARE, and they operate by nature.

Understand this, and you won’t have such a problem with possessiveness or losing.

I talk here of cheating and relationship difficulties, but this all goes back to understanding women.
Have empathy, not sympathy. Empathy IS real understanding. It is awareness that trasncends personal ego and motivations, and it actually is a tool to BETTER get you what you want than not.

Yes, we can use people even when having empathy and understanding and wisdom and love for them.

We cannot exist without using people and imposing our will on them.

Such is life. Such is nature.

Impose your will. See the game. Treat it without personal investment.

Then you will unlock your INSTINCT (intuition, gut, *seeing*).

And then you will Know.