“We learn more from our failures than from our successes.”
The one thing that will make you great, that will put you further ahead than anyone you know who is trying or struggling, is the ability to fail on purpose.
You want to STRIVE to fail.
You spend so much fucking time trying not to fail. It’s your greatest fear, and it’s why you don’t go all in.
It’s holding you back so much that there is only one viable solution:
You want to fail your ass off, and enjoy it.
Before I got any good with women, I went through 7 years of on-off talking to women. For months at a time I would spend 6-7 hours a day talking to girls and in the offtime I would be playing piano to vent my sexual rage or eating food.
Then it would be back out there, anywhere, wherever I could find to hit on girls.
This led to cyclical depression. As I failed to get laid, I would jack off to porn and hit depression and be bedridden.
But over the course of the years, I learned to get better at handling defeat. So much so that I never got out the porn. I didn’t stay in bed for days.
Even after the cops kicked me out of the gym just for talking to some girls (incidentally I picked up the hottest girl I’ve ever been with at that gym), I used that failure to propel me.
Instead of being afraid of getting kicked out of places or afraid of rejection, I came to embrace it because my fear had gone away.
The only real fear is fear itself, and that becomes intimately true once you experience the fear.
EXPERIENCE YOUR GREATEST FEAR.
That’s the best way to stop being afraid.
Get yourself in trouble, and instead of always avoiding the worst, just go out and experience it so that you don’t have to worry about it anymore.
You’re holding back because of that Fear, and once you finally get through it you will realize that there is not much left to lose, or that getting into trouble really isn’t so bad.
Failure–not success–is the pathway to ultimate success.
Obviously you will have to succeed at some point.
But if you fear people ratting you out, for instance, then a great thing to do would be to tell a bunch of people bluntly whatever it is you’re scared of people finding out.
I did that once and got myself banned from a mall, but it was worth it. Now, looking back, I should have had no fear or shame of what I was doing in that mall, but because I wanted people to challenge me, they did.
If you’re afraid of people looking and staring, then you’d best spend some of your time making people look and stare and learn to enjoy it.
Nowadays I find myself doing things and then only AFTER the fact realizing a bunch of people are watching me, and that just makes it even better.
If you’re afraid of cops, the only real remedy is to get yourself detained a bunch of times. Talk to cops. Let them be rude to you and ask you “why do you have an attitude?”
Then, of course, lock your doors and never talk to police again.
But my point is that if fears are holding you back, either experience them or accept the consequences of failure.
There are lists out there of famous people in business or otherwise who failed, such as by going bankrupt.
In this article by RedState some idiot author talks about how Trump has failed at a bunch of businesses and his latest failure with Trump Mortgage:
His decision to embrace the mortgage business illustrates the potential dangers of a business philosophy that has relied in part on a willingness to put aside the advice of experts and take risks.
Sure. You know that Trump has a net worth of 4 billion USD?
I find it funny that the media is shitting all over Trump every chance they get, saying that after every caucus and debate his controversial statements have destroyed him. And yet he just keeps on winning.
Did you know that another notoriously famous historical figure had a lifetime of failure before his big success?
When I was a child, my parents had a framed print across from my bedroom called Portrait of an Achiever. Below that title was this list:
- 1832 Failed in business–bankruptcy
- 1832 Defeated for legislature
- 1834 Failed in business–bankrupty
- 1835 Fiancee died
- 1836 Nervous breakdown
- 1838 Defeated in election
- 1843 Defeated for U.S. Congress
- 1848 Defeated for U.S. Congress
- 1855 Defeated for U.S. Senate
- 1856 Defeated for Vice President
- 1858 Defeated for U.S. Senate
Had you stopped there, you would have missed the final point:
- 1860 Elected President of the United States of America
The subject, of course was Abraham Lincoln.
Once you fail enough that you are sick of failure and there is nothing left it can really teach you, then you can focus better on success.
If you hit on thousands of women and don’t get anywhere with them, and there is little fear of rejection left to experience, and the cops have detained you multiple times and you’ve had your heart broken and soul crushed and cried in the middle of the street 5 times, and then you finally meet a girl who blows your mind and you’ve fallen in love and then she disappears only days later, then you will realize there is nothing really holding you back at that point.
Ironically, once we’ve experienced the worst and manifested our fears, later on it is easy to see that we created them. Even if nothing on the surface has changed, people will respond differently to us based on what we are giving out.
If we truly on the inside believe in ourselves, and are focused on success, then “failure” is much less likely to happen.
But if on the inside you are plagued by paranoia, then don’t be surprised when people attack you or treat you like the very thing you’re afraid of being.
I’ve never gotten into any “trouble” just for talking to women in a very long time, and it’s because I got over my beliefs and failed a lot and had to face my worst fears. But now I no longer fear anything, and I don’t care if 20 people are watching. In my mind and my perspective, what I am doing is perfectly normal and natural, and so that is exactly how people treat me.
The other day I talked to an underage girl who said, “I’m 16” and walked away. An older woman and a middle-aged guy were watching about ten feet away. The older woman was just smiling and the guy said, “Nice try.”
Did they glare at me or call the police? No. Did they rudely tell me off? No.
And is that still a possibility? Yes, but I don’t fear it and honestly now that my fears and limit beliefs about sex and women are gone, it’s very unlikely.
But to get over them, I had to actually HAVE the worst happen to me and I had to act in spite of unsupportive people.
I remember actually going places with my mom and then hitting on girls right in front of her. I would be walking with my mom somewhere and then literally take off, and go talk to a girl without any shame.
It shocked my mom and she couldn’t wrap her head around the concept, but my vision was stronger than the reality my parents engrained in me.
Years later, now I just text pictures of my hot-ass girlfriends to my parents and they do their best to pretend like they’re not jealous.
Yes, I got stopped by cops. Yes, I got rejected a lot. Yes, I got my ego crushed more than a few times. Yes, I gave up a lot and cried a lot and threw things at the wall and thought there was some huge unfixable problem.
I had friends abandon me, I got kicked out of parties for not being cool enough, I blew a lot of time and money and, yes, I failed 6 or more times in a row by jacking off to porn or lying in bed or quitting my worthless jobs or even just getting told to “stop approaching people” and quietely give up.
But it was just all in my head. And by going through all of that failure, I got so sick and desensitized to it that there was really nothing left to do except go for success.
If you’re so afraid of failure that you will only accept success, then you are in for a long hard road of disappointment and holding back.
It takes a RISK, you know, to actually get there.
And now I can stick it to all those people who don’t matter. My shitty parents included.
You all shitted on me, but it was only because I shitted on myself for so long until there was only one direction to go.
And it was the only way.