Men and women are the same

Not all women are like that.

In fact, not all men are like that either.

Women are shallow and only seem to want one thing. They frequently make mistakes by choosing the kind of men that are going to abuse them and push them around, and they secretly like the abuse because its addictive.

They go on internet forums for support during breakups.

And it’s true that men are crazy. One moment they are telling you they love you, the next they are ignoring all of your calls and texts.

Men are hypergamous.

They only want the most beautiful women, the ones who take care of them the most and are the most exciting. If given the choice between a hot woman and an ugly one, men will often choose the hotter one even if she suffers personality and is a total bitch.

Men tend to like “bad girls.” They are drawn to the women who will have a hard time committing and are great in bed.

I am convinced that most red pill men are, in fact, the exact same as the women they get into trouble with. They wonder why their relationship is sour because they have a demanding, controlling woman who won’t have sex with them.

What they don’t realize is they are the exact same way. They are just as controlling and “abusive.”

And they all like it that way because men and women like that are drawn to each other, they are both equally damaged.

Yes, it’s true that there are minor differences in the sexes. Men have a lot more tesosterone, women have visibly more body fat and less muscle, along with tits, they have periods and babies, and men seem more wired for casual sex.

But as far as everything else goes, it really does appear to be cultural…or, rather, conditioned.

It’s hard to make the claim that women love men with money and that men don’t love women with money when we live in a culture where men are all programmed to spend money on women and women are programmed to get away with whatever they want without consequence.

For all the talk of how women love badboys, let’s not forget that men love the bad girls too. They are addicted to the drama and the battles of control. Or else why would they all stay with lying, deceptive borderline women?

It’s the sexual energy, of course.

I love the song “She’s Always A Woman” by Billy Joel. Though it’s sung about women, I was skeptical last time I listened to it, and decided to flip the song around. See if you can find yourself in the new lyrics:

He can kill with a smile
He can wound with his eyes
He can ruin your faith with his casual lies
And he only reveals what he wants you to see
He hides like a child
But he’s always a man to me

He can lead you to love
He can take you or leave you
He can ask for the truth
But he’ll never believe you
And he’ll take what you give him as long as it’s free
Yeah, he steals like a thief
But he’s always a man to me

Oh, he takes care of himself
He can wait if he wants
He’s ahead of his time
Oh, and he never gives out
And he never gives in
He just changes his mind

He will promise you more
Than the Garden of Eden
Then he’ll carelessly cut you
And laugh while you’re bleedin’
But he’ll bring out the best
And the worst you can be
Blame it all on yourself
Cause he’s always a man to me

Oh, he takes care of himself
He can wait if he wants
He’s ahead of his time
Oh, and he never gives out
And he never gives in
He just changes his mind

He is frequently kind
And he’s suddenly cruel
He can do as he pleases
He’s nobody’s fool
But he can’t be convicted
He’s earned his degree
And the most he will do
Is throw shadows at you
But he’s always a man to me

If you want to fit the rhythm better and really get a good laugh, just replace the word “man” with “alpha,” and you’ll get the stereotypical alpha that all these idiots talk about online: charming, lying, independent, invulernable, abusive, non-committal.

It’s almost as if we as humans are all lying cheating deceptive bastards…

Especially the ones we fall hardest for.

Being honest with yourself, and the storm of emotion

Love can be a whirlwind fire that will tear you asunder and bring out your best and worst qualities.

It is foolishness of the utmost extreme to presume that denying love in favor of playing games or continually being “aloof” or dishonest about your nature will somehow bring you satisfaction in your relationships with women.

As a whole we have been taught as men to betray our emotions and that is wrong.

There is no joy, let alone strength in being an anhedonic robot.

Embracing your true nature is the only way to be self-satisfied and grow and also to attract others in the way that only you can with your own true and authentic self.

Falling in love and embracing pursuit of women will bring out everything that you are. You will learn your weaknesses and strengths, and you will forced to confront your hangups and struggle with honesty about what you are and what you want.

It will also dredge up everything that you AREN’T. It takes strength to recognize these barriers, push through the pain of confronting them, and then going through the process to overcome them.

What you may find in pursuing women is that you are not following your own nature, thus attracting the wrong type of women or else denying you what you want or even NEED because you cannot be honest about it.

Are you REALLY looking for sex? Are you looking for love? Are you looking for a companion? Are there a variety of needs you want met, which aren’t being satisfied because you are trying to lock them down with women that don’t want to provide those needs?

You must be honest about what you want and about your reality.

There was one a pretty German girl I met in LA who fell in love with me. It started out slow and calm but very high-energy.

Though I spoke quietly to her and her to me, when we met there was a fire.

I saw her, wearing sunglasses, walking along the street with headphones in and a bag of health food berries (probably Acai, the new rage these days).

I approached her mainly because she was sporting a bare chest underneath her sports bra, but also because something in me wanted to smash her protective barrier. The dual message, of both her outfit and the sunglasses was enough to engage my hunter.

When I approached her she stopped before me and I could barely contain myself. I kept smiling and smirking and wanting to laugh, the energy was intense for me.

Now we are told not to smile or to remain poker-faced in front of women, but I just did what came naturally. I was feeling happy to talk to her, I WANTED to talk to her, and there was nothing wrong with it. At no point did I pretend to be disinterested or feeling less than I was.

We flirted for a little bit and I wasn’t entirely sure she was even into me. But then she made the slightest, feminine gesture of preferring her bag of berries for me. And naturally, I accepted (the Ben Franklin effect is something I am well aware of exploiting).

It was smooth sailing after that, just a natural seduction with us talking and I let out my heart. I was honest, I did not shy away from intense topics like sexual energy, and the woman responded in kind.

It wasn’t long before she was wanting to literally jump me. But because I was denying my sexuality at that time, I did not act on my desires.

Eventually she came around to touching ME but it wasn’t until a second date that the moment came for us to kiss and I didn’t. She asked me, “Don’t you want to kiss me?” and I said no.

She felt rejected but it did not end.

It would end with an even bigger blunder.

She went to slap my ass unexpectedly, perhaps as a last-ditch effort to engage my sexuality after we’d been driving around to find a place to fuck without actually explicitly acknowledging it, and I was unable to honestly tell her to just stop at a hotel, and I would pay for it. We had not openly discussed fucking but it was obvious what we both wanted.

When she slapped my ass, I went quiet. It felt awkward. I wanted to get to know her, not just fuck her so soon, I thought.

And this blunder led to her walking away.

But as she was walking away, the artificial thing to do would have been to let her go, and assume she would come back. But in that moment, I knew that she would not be coming back. I felt it.

So I decided to chase her.

I ran 2 blocks to catch back up to her, something no man taking internet advice would ever do, and she exclaimed in delightful surprise, “Are you coming?” or something to that effect.

At the time I did not realize it, but she thought perhaps I was finally expressing my sexual aggression instead of being “aloof and indifferent,” or denying my sexuality because I thought it was necessary to find a woman to love and not just fuck.

I never saw that woman again, and I sent her a string of texts explaining why I did what I did and that it wasn’t really me. she never responded.

But the key to this incident for me was that rather than holding back, I needed to do the exact opposite. And she APPRECIATED that. That’s what she wanted.

When I chased her as she walked away she felt desired, and she was surprised because it betrayed the contradictory weakness I had displayed before. In that moment I could have gotten what I wanted, but instead I told her that I felt like I had done something wrong, and she told me that it “wasn’t me.”

Later I would discover on Facebook that she as already in a relationship. Of course.

My lack of sexual aggression and being true to my nature had turned her away and back into the arms of her comfortable lover, who she was clearly intent on leaving for me had I not betrayed myself.
This incident was a key turning point in my relationships with women. No longer would I deny my sexuality, and no longer would I simply try to get women in bed.

You must be honest, both with yourself AND your sexuality to become a true master with women.
You do not have to hide from sex. You do not have to pretend like it doesn’t exist, like a boo-hoo taboo. You can evenly openly speak about it with women that you have just met, if you are being genuine.

I do not mean, “Will you fuck me?” as that is crass and inauthentic anyway. Although I will be honest, this can work too if you really mean it and it makes sense.

Perhaps the greatest blunder men make in seduction is disallowing themself of their natural instincts. They think they must perform or be dishonest in some way to make women love them, when in reality what they need to do is EMBRACE those qualities that they ignored and betrayed for some weakness, such as social ineptness or anxiety.
Your real problem is that you are holding back.

Instead of trying to engineer yourself into some badboy or line-spitting idiot, you would do better to become your natural self and turn off the women who don’t like it. You can make a great joke and have fun with yourself and then woman will hate you, and not “get it.” And that’s ok.

Would you really want a woman like that anyway?

Key to being good with women is being honest, even ruthlessly so, and you can do that partly by embracing your nature. If you are in love, so be it. Do not hide that. Embrace it!

Don’t pretend you don’t care about the woman, or play games. IF you want gameplaying women then I guess it’s ok, but that’s hardly the kind of fulfillment I would seek. That does not engender real passion and flaming romances the like of which you probably don’t believe in or only see in bad Hollywood movies.

You’d be surprised at what you can “get away with” when you are really honest with yourself and take the risks. After a while those risks will no longer be risks, persay, because you’d rather be yourself than lie even if it means turning someone away. You will be comfortable with rejection, whether you are walking or the woman is rejecting you.

You must embrace your nature to get what you want, and for some of us that may mean chasing when we are told not to chase, loving when we are told not to love, being angry when we are told not to get angry, and holding on when we are told to let go.

Overall if you wish to be successful with yourself, either in life or romance, then you must be honest with yourself and “come into your own,” even if that means turning off many around you.

There is much more to life than gratuitous sex or making money or racking up a notch count.

But you will never believe that unless are you honest with yourself.

How to fall in love

“One-itis” my ass.

holding hands on beach

The greatest thing you can ever do for yourself is to fall in love.

You can fall in love with another person, and even yourself. But to experience real love, the kind that awakens your purpose and makes life beautiful, you must open up.

You must open your mind to BELIEVING in love.

And you must OPEN YOUR HEART.

In this material world we are taught without remorse that all love dies, that the One is a fiction, and that it’s all mercilessly about sex and chaos, Amen.

Well-known “Red Pill” blogger Roosh, dedicated to seduction of women, even says it is impossible for love to last in this day and age.

Other wildly popular blogger Victor Pride suggests that love is a fiction:

Soulmates and true love is an invention of the movies and sold to the gullible masses.

While I agree that the concept of a “soulmate” is rather fabricated, the men leading social movements these days seem to all be of a mind that love is not real or desirable, and that men’s first prerogative is to sex women. They call it “hookup culture” for a reason.

It’s as if love is a weakness.

Love is not weakness

Love is strength.

Everyone else and their dog is afraid of love, they are incapable of it or else they let it destroy them.

It takes real strength to fully immerse yourself in love and then run with it.

To be vulnerable is to be invulnerable.

When you are vulnerable, when you are honest, when you fully express your feelings and intentions and let yourself surrender, then you become invincible. No one can hurt you when you have nothing to hide. When you are fully what you are, and you communicate that, then nothing can stand in your way.

When you honestly communicate to others and they reject you, it’s harder to give a fuck. And when you are honest, you are that much closer to finding a person who matches your values.

You may do crazy things, things that look absurd from the outside, and one day in nostalgia you will be tempted to look back and wonder where your outlandish actions came from. You probably have wild memories from your youth or even in recent memory and blame them on “hormones” or some other nonsense.

But there is a simple explanation: in the moment you were in love.

And when you are in love, everything makes sense. Because love is stronger than any force, even sex or fear.

True love

We’ve been bombarded in our Hollywood movies with absurd follies and tales of the world that don’t really work. I know, movies are fiction. I hate most movies and I rarely bother to watch them.

But I am here to tell you that love is a real thing. It really exists. Real love, such that you want to grip that person and never let go. You feel comfortable, “right” with that person. You can be yourself.

You may fear their loss and you may fear intimacy, but intimacy is what you crave the most.

In this world we are being taught to relent our heart and soul to the devil of merciless nihilism, and while it’s true that life may have no meaning, you can find your own meaning in love.

Love reveals the light where there was only darkness. It may not be enough, but without it you will only be miserable.

How to fall in love

It’s not hard to fall. But it can be frightening because we experience a loss of control.

No longer is our hard ego at the forefront of our goal-oriented decisions.

Instead we are faced with powerful emotions and intuitions. The one we love becomes a focus, it perhaps even overrides our priorities.

Off into the world we go
Planning futures, shaping years
Love bursts in, and suddenly
All our wisdom disappears

Love changes everything because it is what we are really looking for, beyond the senseless grind of achievement and money that compels our ego.
There was a while where I hardened my heart. I embraced the ego and told myself love was not a real thing. You can even see that on the earlier posts on this website. I was living in Hell, torn between my true desire for real intimacy and the games I was playing for sex.

We are all gripped by our psychosexual conflict, but for those few who have a heart, that will never be enough.

For me it was never enough. It is NOT enough.

The sex and the games were not satisfying me on the deeper level that I needed.
I used to want to destroy my heart. I wrote an aggressive song about it, wild with anger. I pounded it out on my piano and it was the TRUTH to me at that time. Here are some of the lyrics (copyright by me, faggots):

I like this new direction
I’ve never felt this way before
I’ll never fall in love again
And if I do you can be sure

I’ll never let it get in the way
Of my desire!
Gonna take what I want from you
Make you feel my fire!

Because

To win the game
You’ve got to play
The weaker man will never
Have his day

We’re livin’ in
A world of sin
I’m tired of losin’ time to
Jump right in

This was back in a time where I was obsessed with sex and I was, in my anger and ruthlessness, denying myself the very thing in my heart that I wanted more than anything.

It made me feel powerful. The SACRIFICE made me feel superior.

The idea of conquesting an army of women and throwing them mercilessly aside drove me on, because I was unwilling to come to grief with the mountain of heartbreak and lost love I had experienced in my life.

I’ve had a plethora of romances and even broken hearts myself, but for whatever reason I slowly threw away my heart’s strongest desire–for love–and pretended like it was “for girls.” I pretended it wasn’t real.

Slowly, all of my dreams and fantasies went away. I no longer wished for what I really needed, instead I dreamt about sex or approaching women. I went through years of doing nothing but talking to women, it was my priority in life.

There was a period of time where I did nothing but went out every day for hours and hours on end and talked to women. Once I got a job I did this in my spare time, and did my best to pursue women where I worked.

I went through this grind and I learned much. I was a volatile, high-energy man. My testosterone was at an all-time high. I couldn’t sleep at night because I was sexually manic.

One day I found another woman that consisted in an on-off relationship for over a year. During that tumultuous period I denied myself loving her, and it drove us both mad.

The games we played were amusing, but in the end were not satisfying.

We both moved, and I once told her I loved her. And it wasn’t until recently that I realized I did love her.

I loved our wild sex, too, of course. We’d fuck for hours a day, multiple times, and drive ourselves to peak simultaneous orgasms. But though I hated her I wanted to give her my love as well.

Instead we both got fed up and parted, following a ridiculous incident.

It wouldn’t be until I met another woman that came into my life and showed me love like I’d never experienced.

I doubted myself for a while. I thought that Jess was the best I could get. Absurd! But she would drive an hour to meet me, beg me for sex, feed me, lavish money on me. And by the world’s standards I was nothing to appreciate, though I was, as she said, “Good looking, even though that’s all you have going for you.”

But then the women came in. They appreciated me as Jess did. The sex, the games, I could tell they were feeble and I saw right through my act. And I finally decided I could not hide anymore.

After opening my heart, I was heartbroken, but I did not stop. I let myself continue looking for love, instead of sex, feeling a little hopeless as I did so.

And what happened?

I found love. And I found that because I was being honest, finally, with what I wanted so desperately. So it was coming to me.

The promiscuous sex wasn’t coming, because I knew all along it wasn’t what I wanted.

As men we are programmed for casual sex, but that means nothing. For a long time I have not cared about the “game,” the silly numbers game of animalistic fucking.

Because every time I have gone out to play that game for sex, I have found love instead.
You get what you need, and I must admit finally that what I thought I wanted–sleeping around and being a player–is not what I REALLY want, or even what I NEED.

Lately I can recall how it was as a child–sex was of interest to me, but primarily I was interested in falling in love. And by that I mean the mutual, enveloping tension between me and another person.

I would fantasize, dream, and project onto reality these desires. It drove me crazy in high school. I fell hard for many women and I thought maybe I had a real problem. I felt like the world’s biggest loser.

But the solution was NEVER to forego love and become some sex-addicted fiend who used women and had a big hole in his heart.

How can I express to you how badly that game is not satisfying, despite it being all I ever wanted and what I got good at for so many years?

The REAL solution was not running. The real solution was…

HONESTY.

Women want a man who is honest. Honest with himself, with his desires. They want a REAL person, and you cannot be real if you are hiding behind a wall of sexual inauthenticity, or building your own wall of egotistical heartlessness.

I am not heartless, I have a stronger heart than anyone. And I have finally realized that my alleged weakness is actually one of my greatest strengths.

Having a powerful heart is a greater weapon than sex, because love is the most powerful force there is.

I denied it for a while. I used anger, horniness, rage as my tools. They are fuel, and you should use them. Don’t get me wrong.

But nothing compares to love, whether it is romantic or passionate or just the kind of love where you cannot bear to lose someone.

When you love someone, you will forego your entire trip to New York City and all the hot broads there and the chance to sleep around because the woman you love calls you and can’t bear to be without you and wants to die without you, and though you know it’s silly you feel a sense of purpose in coming back for her like never before.

I went back, and though I regretted it, it was far more satisfying than living an empty life without her.

So here is my advice:

GET REAL.

Play the “game,” by all means. Talk to women. But know what you are looking for. And be honest about that.

And don’t deny your heart’s greatest desire.

Do not throw away your childhood dreams as fantasy.

These days it is popular to preach about doing what you love.

Why does no one preach about falling in love?

Are your dreams about being an actor, or singer, or carpenter, or president or astronaut any different or less meaningful than your childhood dreams about finding a woman to complete you?
Do not be ashamed. Do not be embarassed.

Your love is one of your greatest strengths, if only you would stop denying it.

You can see it in the warm gazes of all around you when you hold hands with the woman you’re in love with. you can feel it in the way time dissipates, irrelevant. In the way that you just want to spend time with her, even to your mutual detriment.

I pity the emotional deficit of those who don’t want “emotional entanglements” or “don’t have time” or “aren’t ready” for a “relationship.”

Without love, you are just playing games.

It is true that in falling in love or seeking it, you will drive away women in the process. But you must understand that not every woman is willing to “get down,” and of those who are, perhaps they cannot attend to your further needs.

To stop playing games, and find love, you must open your heart.

YOU MUST TAKE A RISK.

As men, we are all about taking risks, right? And yet everywhere, in this millenial hell, we are being taught to stop falling love and to stop having “one-itis” and to always be hooking, stringing women along.

If you have to play games to keep women, then perhaps it is NOT the women that are at fault.

Perhaps that is YOUR problem.

You can run from love, but can it run from you? Perhaps it is just time to TAKE THE RISK, and…

Fall in love.