What it’s like to love a borderline

loving a borderline tornado

Borderlines are the classic psychos.

They’re the ones who call 50 times in one night, come over unannounced, spin into a fiery rage over nothing, and key your car and call the police when they’re done with you.

Unless they love you, that is.

Borderline personality disorder is a real thing, but underlying it all is fear. It’s paralyzing fear of abandonment, and so they abandon their identity. They need something to latch, to cling on to. Without it they cannot make up for their abusive past and what damage was done to them as a child.

But loving a borderline is only for Men.

It takes a real man, not a wimp to withstand her. Because she will test you. And I do not just mean “shit test.” I mean that she will try your patience, your ego, your principles, your time, and your boundaries.

She is a fucking vampire.

Loving a borderline can and will change you because you must be able to take her constant hurled insults and judgments. You must learn to set strong and proper boundaries and you must learn to walk away when she exceeds them.

You will also learn that no amount of reason or logic can persuade them, and so you must learn new tactics and methods of manipulation to get what you want or teach them what is acceptable.

You must be prepared for an excessive amount of drama and you must learn to deal with it like a man, not a little child.

That is what borderlines really are.

They are still children, unable to cope with the immensity of what was done to them or what they lacked growing up.

Over time you will have to learn to be angry, to scream at them, to tell them what to do. But you must also learn patience.

The greatest gift she gave me was true patience. Many times I flew off the handle into a great rage, or walked away. But Patience of the kind that allows you to love them without ego is what is necessary.

To get a borderline to trust you takes time. It also takes patience but also great risk and balls.

Borderlines can and will tear you apart if you are a weak or even moderately strong person. Only an extremely strong person who boldly and madly adheres to boundaries is going to survive a borderline.

Most “red pill” men deal with some level of borderline behavior that drives them to adopt a new philosophy with women, but most of them are victims. This is why women chew them up and spit them out; most men are not capable or adept or even strong people in general, and so to handle such an emotional trainwreck as a borderline is going to be either a headache or a hearty challenge.

Probably both!

Now one will have to ask: why bother?

And for that I will have to tell you the blunt truth:

You will be forced to love her, or else you will never learn the lessons she can teach you.

I could be accused of being a “co-dependent” but this is really just the natural solution to a woman who acts like a child.

The main thing you will have to understand about her is that she does not know best and will often lead you astray. Her emotions often run counter to the right thing to do. You will almost always know better than her.

There will be many times where your gut will tell you one thing, but her childlike glee will compel you to follow her ridiculous whims. And sometimes it will be fun. Sometimes it will end up being a huge mistake.

A borderline is a great way to prepare you for having children–or turn you off of them completely. It is also a powerful chance to learn how to be a real man, how to handle all the weaker people around you, and to really be a leader.

If you never really could believe in yourself as a leader, you will have to with a borderline or perish.

Because they often have a habit of leaving, abusing, or shitting on men who cannot maintain proper strength in the midst of their storm.

Just being honest and upfront or “alpha” is not enough. You will have to be prepared for all manner of relentless self-conscious quips, emotional outbursts, insults, and manipulations. And you will have to learn to utitilize your masculine rage and anger and be uninhibited, as well as maintain strong boundaries and learn to give commands.

There were times where even I was weak enough with the borderline that she tried to drive me away, or almost cheated. I then decided that I could not be an “equal” and could not meet her at my level. I would have to become an all-commanding controlling asshole, and so that is what I did.

And she fell even harder for me.

It was either that or lose her, but I could not. And so I rose to the challenge, and became a proper man, unyielding and unafraid of putting myself in charge.

Much of loving a borderline is less of being a lover and more of being a father.

And a strong, powerful father at that. One who is not very friendly and who will not tolerate stupidity.

At the end of the day borderlines are not for everyone, because most men just are not capable of handling them. Many playboys are just that–boys who don’t know how to “deal with crazy.”

Perhaps it does require some modicum of crazy yourself.

And truly, I say to you, that it does not last. If you are going to live a happy and fulfilling life, you cannot do it with these women.

They are a shell of their real selves. They cannot experience true intimacy or empathy.

When you stare at your lover there should be a sense of warmth and understanding.

But when you stare at a borderline, she’ll probably just flip out.

For whatever reason, borderline women are broken and cannot be fixed by you or anyone. They can be trained into submission, but can you love one?

And can you SURVIVE?

Chances are you will stray, especially after experiencing her rage and betrayals. Take my advice, and don’t get sucked in. It will take you a long time to realize the truth:

That she is a narcissist, incapable of giving you what so desperately desire and crave. She cannot love, and therefore cannot receive it.

And you will be left forever unsatisfied.

Until you leave.

Borderlines can be broken

borderline women can be broken

Despite the notion that borderline women are forever broken and cannot be fixed, they can in fact be trained.

But it takes a hard man, not a victim.

Rather than be some pussy who “swallows the red pill” and believes he is a victim forced to be a forever asshole to women, a real man does, in fact, ENJOY being a real man, and is appropriately demanding and selfish not because he must be, but because that is who he really is.

This is the primary difference between alphas and all other men.

REAL so-called “alpha males” don’t actually give a fuck. They don’t take it seriously.

They understand this is a “predatory universe,” at least to some degree.

They don’t just “give themselves permission” to be bad, they LOVE being bad and are ok with being bad.

And they get away with it because on some level, women understand that this is a how a Man behaves. It doesn’t have to be right or make sense.

So when you are a total asshole, by which I mean you are selfish and have no inhibitions (not that you are necessarily actively cruel), then the women will respond.

Borderline women can be easily broken if you adhere to the principles of being an alpha.

But you have to stick by them. No, more importantly you must ASPIRE to them.

When you truly enjoy walking away or bossing your woman around or sticking up for yourself, then you will realize it was the real you all along.

You just were taught that it was ugly and sleazy all your life.

Well, it is. But that’s ok. You don’t answer to any god or daddy or mommy and especially not your girlfriend.

The reason so many men get eaten alive by borderline and other psycho women is because, quite simply, they aren’t strong enough.

They are not prepared, and they are not tough enough.

That’s it. There is no blunter way to say it. It’s survival of the fittest, but it’s also who can adapt.

And when I adapted, it worked.

I’ve been through it all–the episodes, the police threats (multiple times every night), the broken glass, the grappling, the obsessive need.

And I’ve been through a lot more of it than a lot of you guys, and I don’t even mind it.

It’s the nature of women, or at least most crazy women that America breeds these days, and you just gotta get over it.

But more than that, you’ve got to be a real man.

That means you don’t whine or bitch or act like mommy is trying to spank you. She can’t hurt you.

Her threats mean nothing. They are jokes to be laughed at.

Her assaults never hurt. You are bigger and stronger. Just shove her and show her who’s boss.

Her verbal attacks are always projection. She is the worst of everything she tries to say about you.

When you finally understand that you are a ROCK, and she or nobody can’t give you any shit, then you’ll understand how to “deal” with borderline women. And other crazies.

In fact, you’ll learn how to deal with ALL people, man or woman.

I’ve never had a problem crazy women. Honest to god.

I think some of you need to put your money where you mouth is and practice those…um…”dark triad traits” as you call it. They ain’t something you fake. It’s not a technique. It’s who you are.

Even the craziest women can be bent over and submitted to their man. And they will love you for it.

Even if they turn on you every single day. Even if they rage. Even if they claim that they hate you. Even if they refuse to verbalize their love…

They can still love you. And you can still love them.

It is more than possible…

But you’ve got to be a fuckin’ man.

Walking on eggshells: Women with Borderline Personality Disorder

I am the last person to believe in traditional scientific labels or disorders.

Why?

Because I beat of all my mine.

They are classed as “disorders” and that means exactly that. They are not diseases. They are not permanent

They are literally misalignments of the natural order of the mind that manifests in real brain changes.

That is why bipolars need medicine. Once the brain has re-ordered itself, lots of help will be necessary to realign it.

But in my personal experience, the brain CAN be re-aligned. Lengthy research about the topic has been done under the name of “neuroplasticity.”

Take more risks, and your testosterone levels will increase, for example.

Ultimately, however, this can ONLY be done by the individual.

No attempt at intervention can ever help someone with a mental disorder. I know from personal experience with MYSELF, and from women with disorders I’ve been in relationships with.

Don’t save her

She don’t wanna be saved.

It’s true. You can’t fix them.

BUT, if the onus is on you to TRY, and at least help them along–OR if you are sleeping with a BPD, and you want to identify her or learn how to deal with her, then read on.

Early red flags

Broken women have red flags.

They show them early and they are OBVIOUS.

It’s just that you as a man fully intend to stay with her until things get REALLY BAD, half-seriously entertaining that this chick could turn out to be a real psycho, but probably won’t.

Let me tell you: you are usually right.

If the chick is probably a psycho, the chick is probably a psycho.

Trust those early red flags:

She screams at her mother on the phone, about all the hurt and embarassment she causes her, and how she’s abusing her, and when you see the girl’s phone she’s sent multiple unanswered lengthy texts to her mother, who allegedly is her abuser?

Trust me, it’s only a matter of time before she turns that behavior on you.

Or did you think you were special?

BPDs have the ability to make you feel so special….until they turn on you.

Trust me, she will.

She has a boundary problem. She doesn’t have the ability to regulate her emotions or thoughts. She has no filter. She has no real control or discipline.

All of the smart guys on the web recommend treating her with aloof amusement, and this is the ONLY way to deal with her after a while because you will practically be FORCED to once you understand that she is a psycho without much of an identity of her own.

You cannot speak to a rock, and you cannot argue with a BPD woman.

You cannot reason or explain sense into her, or at least you’ll only be able to before she “turns” again and goes back to hating you and trying to throw you out or calling the police or whatever possible avenue she can use to make things worse.

BPD women are at the mercy of the worst kind of human manipulation: they have no boundaries, meaning that anything is fair game.

She can and will, EVENTUALLY, use every weapon at her disposal, whether that is threats, insults, commands, fucking with your property, eating your food, blaming you for her problems (even when she tells you it’s not your fault just yesterday) , crying during sex, ignoring you, blowing up your phone, going on impulsive trips, or telling you that your dick is small and that she never enjoyed your sex.

Yet she sticks around.

One moment, you’re a “wonderful man” to her. Then the next you’re a “cockroach” and an “asshole.”

It’s not worth following. It’s raw emotion, and you’re better off not believing a word of it.

Crazy behaviors

BPDs are not the type to self-harm. That’s bipolars (which I have ample experience dealing with). They are also not the type to have manic swings or get really horny. In fact, BPDs suffer from high stress and anger and depression.

High stress hampers your ability to think and/or function. When you are so stressed that you make U-turns in your mind and can’t effectively get anything done.

BPDs are already suffering from this kind of inability to function, so with added stress and drama they lose their minds.

Although it may not seem like it at first, this is the kind of psycho woman who will call the police on you. If you’re a bitch, you’re screwed.

But deep down, what you need to remember above ALL is that nothing she says or does is real, as it is with most women.

She is just a scared and abused child, and had poor caretakers long ago.

You can’t take any of her dumb threats or behaviors seriously.

But, by that same token, neither you can you trust her promises.

You cannot trust her to do as she says or come through for you. Instead, you must expect she will constantly lash out at you, the man she loves, and this is why it’s important to watch out for early warning signs and make a decision.

The decision:

This BPD woman will make an excellent trial ground for how much of a man you think you are.

I was lucky in that I got involved with one when I was already strong, but I can see how a lesser man would get chewed up and swallowed or spitted out and maybe end up in jail.

You see, this is the psycho who will hit you and call the cops. This is the nightmare you’ve heard about, or read about.

You just won’t even know it at first.

But for a man like myself, her bullshit does not faze me. I see through her empty threats and I do not ever give in.

This alpha stoicism is worthy to aspire to in general, for yourself and with all women, but doubly so it is important for dealing with BPD women.

Remember, this is the very psycho men talk about that will try to get you thrown in jail, unless you are strong and take steps to prevent it.

Prevention

Remember that I speak in the context of long-term relationships, not one-night stands.

If you are dealing with a BPD for one night, you probably won’t know it and all you can do is ensure you keep her texts as evidence that you had sex with her willingly.

First and foremost, as soon as you see she is a psycho, stop taking her so seriously.

She will lie, project, and go to all lengths to avoid responsibility. She is mentally ill.

As soon as she crosses the line into crazy territory, begin recording any heated interactions with your cell phone. Never tell her this and keep it on you at all times. Put passwords on all your devices.

Next, if you MUST live with her, have her sign a lengthy legal document that gives you all the power to move out and for her not to fuck with her property and establish that you are paying rent, so that she can NEVER kick you out or throw your stuff out on the curb.

Third, COMPLETELY ignore her when she threatens to call the cops. Act entirely unaffected, since you know it is just a ruse.

The ONLY way she will actually do this is if you show fear and think that this is not a ruse.

Prepare for physical violence. ESPECIALLY if she catches you cheating or you really piss her off somehow.

Whatever you do, don’t hit her and be a strong man. If she actually abuses you, she’s a stupid cunt and you can go ahead and call the police (don’t tell her you are doing it, just DO IT) and then when they show off you can show them your black eye and get her carted off to jail.

She actually CRAVES to be hit by you, to be abused like she was when she was younger (perhaps by her father) but don’t give in to her blatant provocations unless you are sure the moment is right and you can dominate her.

If you hit her and cannot dominate her, she will hit you back or call the cops and continue to be angry with you. You must never hit a woman unless you have the upper hand psychologically and emotionally.

Remember what she wants from you

Remember that deep down she needs you to make up for the void in her life caused by all of her previous failed relationships and abusers. Decide whether you want to get involved in her emotional prison. It can be good at times, awful at others.

At the end of the day, either you will leave the BPD or she will leave you. I have had both experiences, but “luckily” for me she always came back.

Unfortunately, as much as you may love your borderline girl, who is probably hot, and who acts like a sweet little 5-year-old, she is a parasite.

She is a vampire. And you’ve got to let the right one in.

She will destroy you or at least hinder you in the end, no matter how long you can survive. You cannot build a relationship with a girl who cannot take care of herself. It does not make you a man to spend more money on her, or fix her problems.

Get rid of your pity, and realize this is not real love.

Real love can only come from true empathy and intimacy, something she lacks. And something you are likely craving if you’ve spent too much time sucked in by a borderline. You don’t even realize it’s missing.

Don’t get me wrong–borderlines can be tamed–but will you ever truly love a broken victim?

Perhaps, like me, you’ll have to learn the hard way.

_____________________________

P.S. If you want a book on how to get rid of a borderline from your life written by a really excellent expert on the subject, Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, then check out Say Goodbye to Crazy: How to Get Rid of His Crazy Ex and Restore Sanity to Your Life.

Also, for lots of free and useful info, check out her blog Shrink 4 Men.

Falling in love with the vampire

You’ve got to let the right one in.

But what happens when you find, looking back, that the only one for you was the wrong one?

So eternally intimately distant, unable to be what you want.

Because the vamp is a predator, and after it drinks your blood the only thing it can give you is the ability to make you exactly like itself.

You will toil at redemption.

You will lead it along, slowly, onto another path.

But at heart the beast is still a beast. Because it has been that way its whole life, with nothing to guide it but fear.

It came into the world knowing only fear, and then it was attacked and left for dead.

When it awoke again, it knew only its hunger. No mentor or parent was there to show it the way. So it went off the only model it knew.

borderline personality vampire photo

Each time you let it in the window–or, god forbid, return to its dark embrace–there is a deception.

While you think you are reviving its soul, the vampire is in fact slowly taking more and more blood each time. Because that is its way. It doesn’t even know what it has done until one day it is too late.

And you let that vampire in because, as strong as you are, you identified with its fear.

But the longer you served, the more you craved. To handle the vampire was a worthy task, ypu thought. Somehow, you reached a point where you became so numb to the vampire’s debased and vile machinations, its unintended sadism, that you began to crave the rare moments of awakened understanding.

And the longer you waited for change, the more the hungry vampire eagerly revealed its ugly self to you. It was overjoyed to show you its nature and terrified you would leave when you saw it.

When you stuck around, hoping to save it, you didn’t realize that one day the vampire would turn on you, too. Because that is its nature.

With a delighted grin, it was waiting to absorb and consume you as an extension of itself.

To bask in its wonder! Just one moment of its unholy sensuality. A true gift.

And in return? Your blood.

But it wasn’t ready. One day, it took too much, and you’re dead on the floor.

It cocks its head, wondering why you won’t eat.

Wondering why you are just laying there, dead.

Not understanding, it pokes and prods at you, unable to comprehend what has happened.

It thought it was going to suck on your blood forever, all the while learning what you wanted to teach it.

But it made a mistake.

It kept you alive all this time only to extend its own pleasure. It only knew how to take care of you as much as was necessary for it to keep feeding.

You’re dead on the floor. The vampire is a parasite, not a symbiote. It had nothing to give but death.

And perhaps you will awake again, an empty soul. You will have been attacked and abused and know nothing but fear.

You will know nothing but hunger. And then you will follow the only model you know….

Using anxiety to control your woman

It’s not even a conscious thing. It’s not even quite instinct.

In the moment you are distinctly aware of the effect it will bring, but as you do it you must be doing it out of an inner desire of will.

As a careful observer of your own actions, which will happen after a fashion if you are an aware and manipulative person, then you will see both your innate tendency and the result it will effect.

Most (if not nearly all) of the women in my life have been easily manipulated by the “abandonment trigger.”

Long ago, I heard it said that alpha males “know when to walk away.”

It’s true. And even when you aren’t really ready to walk away, just forcing yourself to do it can often set your woman off.

The only thing you cannot do is expect this to always work. Not all women will love it and it won’t work every time, even if it works most of the time.

But don’t be afraid to employ it liberally, if you really want to. If a woman ain’t treating you how you want, just fucking walk.

Don’t matter if it’s right. Don’t matter if it’s wrong.

Don’t matter if you are acting or arrogant, or if you’re nice. If it’s what you want to do, then do it.

Walking away builds great character and it sets you up as the one in power. If women don’t chase, then fuck ’em. If they do, then make sure they are on their better behavior.

Unfortunately, with psycho women (like with borderline personality disorder) this trigger will make them fucking chase you down, grab onto you in the middle of the street crying your name, and call you 50 times in a row.

A more normal woman with boundaries will get indignant or be a little more coy in her approach to win you back.

Or maybe not.

It’s hard to kick women out of your apartment if they don’t want to go.

But I digress.

Walking away, ESPECIALLY when your woman is in disbelief or trying to call you out on your arrogance or ego or trying to trash you, will be the best thing you can do for yourself.

The benefits of making women crazy is only a secondary bonus.

You don’t use this as a tactic to make the woman acquiesce. Don’t EXPECT her to chase. Don’t dick around and “pretend” to leave UNLESS you are really good at this.

Unless she is a having a psychotic episode, she may see through your actions.

So at least some of the time, after you walk out on a woman, assuming you want to see her again, go home no matter what and don’t follow up with her for at least a couple days.

Just ignore her and make her obsess a bit before you come back. This is what really grinds the salt into the wound. This is what causes her major anxiety, and keeps her in line.

Now, NOTHING will ultimately keep a crazy chick in tow. You can make her submissive but even a batshit crazy girl will break free no matter how good you are at this.

Especially if the woman is a borderline, then half the time she will be glad you walked away. Even though you know she’ll call you again the next day.

But the bottom line is this:

You’ve gotta learn to walk away, and follow through no matter how you feel.

There WILL be times where you walk away from a date feeling shitty and wanting her back. But you gotta power through it anyway.

At worst, she was a bitch anyway.

At best, you will see her again sure enough so go home and do something more fun.

If you’ve forgotten how to walk away, then try it.

Next time any girl is being a bitch, call her out on it. Even if it’s something simple or trivial that bothers you.

 

And then if it won’t stop, you walk away.

See how good it feels.

Yeah, it’s manipulative as fuck. And that’s okay. Everything is manipulation. That’s life.

You don’t have to respect anybody or suck up to anyone. You can walk away on a dime if you want, and it’s that attitude that actually makes you more attractive anyway.

But like I said, at heart this is really about you. Not just about them.

If you can really walk away for YOU, then this will twice as effective.

This is not a technique or method, so much as this is a behavior that builds a certain attitude.

That attitude is this:

“Take it or leave it.”

In a world where women seem to demand impossibly high standards, you as the man are entitled to the same and more.

We men are just as powerful as women. If not more so.

You are a MAN, and she submits to YOU.

Any woman that doesn’t play along? You walk. It’s that simple.

Over time, this builds up your surety in your male power, and women will come crawling back.

Because they crave a powerful man, even if the only power he has is simply putting them in their place.

They will cry and scream and insult you, but at the end of the day if they want to play ball in your court, then they’d better follow YOUR rules.

It seems most men are busy following their women’s rules.

“I have to talk to my fiance first.”

“My wife handles the bills.”

“My girlfriend would never let me do that.”

I feel sick inside when I hear grown men say shit like that.

Let’s flip that around.

Next time a girl tells you what to do (her “rules”) then you turn it around and just give her one of your own.

She might lose her shit. And that’s when you tell her to shut up or suck your dick.

If she continues her bitching, you just walk away.

 

Go do whatever it is you used to think you needed her permission for. And then don’t apologize for it. It’s your life. She doesn’t control you.

Truth be told, if you just live as you please then you’re not controlling the women. They let themselves be controlled. It’s like they want to be under your spell.

Just remember the golden rule of pussy control:

“She can take it or leave it.”

 

Love,
James Mast

What you can’t take away

You can ban me
Beat me
Berate me
Hate me

 

You can laugh at me
You can test me
You can ignore me
You can report me

 

You can take away my money.
You can take away my home.
You can take away my job and all the things that I own.
You can take away your body.
You can take away your time.
You can show me no respect and not leave me a dime.

 

You can shit on all of my achievements,

You can tell me to just give up and quit,

 

 

You can even tell me I’M NOT WORTHY….

 

 

But

 

 

You can’t take away my balls.

What you’re really looking for

What you’re really looking for is yourself.

Men play the field or let themselves go for that one “special woman,” the one who rips their heart out and drives them insane. There is often little in-between.

The real truth is that these men do not hate women, they are just covering their hatred of themselves.

When I suggest that women and men are much the same and that there is no soulmate out there, that may seem as a justifiable excuse for “pumping and dumping” women.

But in fact it is a call to stop the external search.

You will not find what you are looking for by your conmdemnation of women.

You’ve got to stop holding women accountable for your own self-esteem.

The only way to do this is to learn the hard way.

Admittedly I had to learn this my way, and I was the asshole for a while. I was rigidly attached to finding love as a self-acceptance mechanism. I can even point to the exact triggers and lifetime events that culminated in this perspective.

But that didn’t make the gripping insecurity any less hard to deal with.

No one is ever going to love you as severely as you can love yourself.

So it’s time to let the women go, and take them as they are. They are real people, just polluted human beings like men.

By all means, spread your wild oats.

But keep in mind not to involve yourself with the wrong people.

And to do that, you must right yourself first.

Men and women are the same

Not all women are like that.

In fact, not all men are like that either.

Women are shallow and only seem to want one thing. They frequently make mistakes by choosing the kind of men that are going to abuse them and push them around, and they secretly like the abuse because its addictive.

They go on internet forums for support during breakups.

And it’s true that men are crazy. One moment they are telling you they love you, the next they are ignoring all of your calls and texts.

Men are hypergamous.

They only want the most beautiful women, the ones who take care of them the most and are the most exciting. If given the choice between a hot woman and an ugly one, men will often choose the hotter one even if she suffers personality and is a total bitch.

Men tend to like “bad girls.” They are drawn to the women who will have a hard time committing and are great in bed.

I am convinced that most red pill men are, in fact, the exact same as the women they get into trouble with. They wonder why their relationship is sour because they have a demanding, controlling woman who won’t have sex with them.

What they don’t realize is they are the exact same way. They are just as controlling and “abusive.”

And they all like it that way because men and women like that are drawn to each other, they are both equally damaged.

Yes, it’s true that there are minor differences in the sexes. Men have a lot more tesosterone, women have visibly more body fat and less muscle, along with tits, they have periods and babies, and men seem more wired for casual sex.

But as far as everything else goes, it really does appear to be cultural…or, rather, conditioned.

It’s hard to make the claim that women love men with money and that men don’t love women with money when we live in a culture where men are all programmed to spend money on women and women are programmed to get away with whatever they want without consequence.

For all the talk of how women love badboys, let’s not forget that men love the bad girls too. They are addicted to the drama and the battles of control. Or else why would they all stay with lying, deceptive borderline women?

It’s the sexual energy, of course.

I love the song “She’s Always A Woman” by Billy Joel. Though it’s sung about women, I was skeptical last time I listened to it, and decided to flip the song around. See if you can find yourself in the new lyrics:

He can kill with a smile
He can wound with his eyes
He can ruin your faith with his casual lies
And he only reveals what he wants you to see
He hides like a child
But he’s always a man to me

He can lead you to love
He can take you or leave you
He can ask for the truth
But he’ll never believe you
And he’ll take what you give him as long as it’s free
Yeah, he steals like a thief
But he’s always a man to me

Oh, he takes care of himself
He can wait if he wants
He’s ahead of his time
Oh, and he never gives out
And he never gives in
He just changes his mind

He will promise you more
Than the Garden of Eden
Then he’ll carelessly cut you
And laugh while you’re bleedin’
But he’ll bring out the best
And the worst you can be
Blame it all on yourself
Cause he’s always a man to me

Oh, he takes care of himself
He can wait if he wants
He’s ahead of his time
Oh, and he never gives out
And he never gives in
He just changes his mind

He is frequently kind
And he’s suddenly cruel
He can do as he pleases
He’s nobody’s fool
But he can’t be convicted
He’s earned his degree
And the most he will do
Is throw shadows at you
But he’s always a man to me

If you want to fit the rhythm better and really get a good laugh, just replace the word “man” with “alpha,” and you’ll get the stereotypical alpha that all these idiots talk about online: charming, lying, independent, invulernable, abusive, non-committal.

It’s almost as if we as humans are all lying cheating deceptive bastards…

Especially the ones we fall hardest for.

Not all women are manipulative cunts

not-all-women-are-manipulative-like-that01

The internet is a terrible and terrific place to learn about women.

There are so many assholes out there unwittingly leading you astray that as a young man I brutally fucked up my worldview following the bread-and-butter “alpha male” websites teaching us that women can’t be trusted and that they will always screw you over if you’re not careful.

As Mike Cernovich mentions, not all women “shit test,” i.e. put up a false front to test for weakness in a man.

I myself have experienced my own woman brutally challenging me constantly, even though I have proven myself many times over. And many times I have witnessed this woman “giving up” sex as a method of manipulation, rather than desire.

She would never admit it, but I see right through that shit.

What I have seen is that my woman withholds sex, mostly unconsciously, because she has been taught and raised to treat sex with that perspective. This does not make her a whore or a golddigger, even though she appears to be one at times, but rather it just indicates her own unhealthy personal perspective.

And that is the point of this post:

All women are different and they all have slightly different perspectives, JUST LIKE MEN.

Since I am somewhat manipulative myself, I used to play these games with women. But now, having come from the dark side and being older and wiser, I see right through it when it happens.

Once my woman came to me and instead of having sex she started getting dressed. I asked her what she was doing. She said that we should go out to bars, and flirt with other people, and see what happens.

I lay there in bed, honestly not wanting to go out to the bars AT ALL, and it occurred to me that I had to shut down this game before it started.

Though at the time I had little experience with honesty and authenticity over gameplaying, I still managed a perfect execution.

I said, “I don’t want to go out to the bars. And what the fuck do you mean let’s flirt with other people? We are together, so let’s not play games. Let’s have sex instead.”

The cornered woman gave me a bit of challenge but I kept up my honesty. Then she replied,

“You’re right. I’m just playing games. I don’t know what I was thinking. Let’s be together.”

If I recall correctly we actually had sex after that.

And imagine: in today’s world, most men would be taught to follow up her gameplaying by going out and proving what an “alpha” they were, or flirting with other girls to turn her on.

But I personally no longer care for that kind of manipulation.

Chateau Heartiste, apex “manosphere” blogger, reveals exactly the kind of mindset the internet is encouraging in this partiular post about a woman who plays games.

What’s revealing is that, instead of calling the girl out on her bullshit, Heartiste happily goes along with the girl and plays her game, and then ends up having sex with her.

But this is pathetic.

After playing so many games, I would not then indulge in this girl’s behavior. If I were on the first date with this chick, I would have played along with a bit of small talk, and then said,

“Why in the fuck are you acting this way?” and called her out on all her bullshit, calmly and matter-of-factly.

Then, if she responded with sincerity, maybe the date would continue.

If she did not, then I would walk. That simple.

Heartiste seems content to “play the game,” but what he is missing is that the game is a prison.

I repeat: not all women are manipulative and controlling scum who will test you and battle you and challenge you and drive you insane.

If those are the only women you know of, and you must delve into evolutionary psychology to prove it, then perhaps you are only revealing the sinister gameplayer at your core.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I just encourage you to seek BEYOND the game. It’s useful to know, but it is self-limiting. And once you stop playing the games and encourage genuineness with yourself, you will see right through the manipulations of the women around you, and if you’re like me then you will stop being aroused by them.

Today my girlfriend wanted my attention so badly she kept kissing me and tried to have sex with me. But I resisted her advances, until finally she broke. She started lashing out at me and calling me names like “loser” and tears welled up in her eyes. She became desperate to know if we could still be together.

This woman has broken it off with me multiple times in the last week, and keeps wanting to “make up” again.

But what she has is not true sexual desire.

It is manipulation.

Sex is a tool on her toolbelt to rope in a man, and again, I repeat, NOT ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT. I know from firsthand experience. And when you encounter a woman like this, ask yourself:

Do I share these same values?

If not, and you’d rather find a woman who actually WANTS to fuck, then maybe you’d just better run.

Because ALL women will give you warning signs and red flags LONG before their major issues surface, and it’s up to you not to entertain those relationships unless you want (or need) the experience.

Trust me–or, rather, TRUST YOURSELF.

The gut never lies, but more importantly things are often far more obvious than we try to pretend they aren’t.

People can easily read other people, or tell if they are lying. They just don’t trust their own judgment. I’d link the scientific studies but you can find them on your own and it’s common sense, really.

So when you encounter a woman who strikes you as being a potential user, or lyer, or manipulator, or as being emotionally or sexually fucked up, then you better goddamn trust yourself and not wait to be so very right later.

If the woman seems like she has sexual problems, then she probably does.

If you think she’s too judgmental, then she probably is.

And if you never see her smile and sense she is unhappy, then she probably is.

My advice to you?

Call her out on her bullshit, and then RUN.

It is never cowardly to cut people out of your life before they have a chance. Do you purposely let a hammer drop on your toe to see what happens?

No. You already know what will happen.

No need to drop the hammer just to see the details of the consequences. Some things just aren’t worth exploring.

That said, I fully encourage you to run the gamut of experiences with women to develop your own intuition.

But until then, just remember not to get too involved with one wrong woman. Because they are NOT all like that.

Even if it sometimes seems that way.
Your relationship counselor,
James Mast

Why the “Red Pill” sucks

The reason the red pill sucks is because is has an inherent distrust of women.

It also sucks because it stole that fancy Matrix term that can be applied to so much more than just the nature of women.

I don’t ever fully trust anybody, in fact I am extremely paranoid and take steps to control things before they happen. This is an ability I developed, it was not inborn. And it has since paid off in spades, further validating that you should never completely trust anybody or expect anything. And it’s not personal.

That said, the red pill takes it in a completely other direction.

Just today I red another silly reddit thread where one man asks his fellow losers, “What does it mean when she says she needs space?”

They all talked about how he needed to be indifferent, and that she was on the fence, and that she might be trying to fuck other guys.

Well my girlfriend told me she needed space, but she also was quite sexual with me and I fucked her good and the reason she told me that was because I was an added stressor on her already dilapidated life and she had extreme anxiety and loose boundaries and costantly took her problems out on other people.

So telling me she needed space was literally her way of telling me, “I need space.” She wanted me out of her apartment because she was already poorly managing everything and I wasn’t financially supporting her or buying shit for her apartment as much as I was providing direction and fucking her brains out.

It wasn’t personal, in other words. And she wasn’t fucking other guys.

But I have no doubt if I posted such a situation on reddit or any forum then I would get 10 redpill assholes all telling me that I need to “soft next” her or “be aloof and indifferent” or some other technique when in reality she is her own person with her own problems and if she cheats on me, that says more about her than me, and if she wants space, then why would I want to live with her anyway?

What’s funny is the OP in the thread I read actually came to such a conclusion himself, before succumbing to the advice he was bombarded with.

“I don’t want to be with a woman who doesn’t want to commit as much as I do,” he says, which is a striking realization on his behalf. Knowing what you want is half the battle, and this fellow has figured out that if a woman is having reservations, it’s not really his job to change himself for her or do anything different unless he wants to or CAN.

In this case perhaps a better woman should just be found.

And that’s why the Red Pill sucks.

There’s a lot of responsibility on your shoulders when you take everything a woman does personally. Remember that she has her own fucking problems especially if she’s a broken bird (which many are) and the last thing you need to do is resolve them because unless she stands up on her own two feet and goes out and does exactly what you’ve been telling her to do, then she’s not in it to get saved. She’s in it to be a victim, and pretend to want to be saved.

There’s no point in spending a lot of money on these type of women. They are broken and while you might love them, insatiably, and KNOW and SEE their potential, ultimately it would behoove you to leave them if your goal is a more equal partner because, as you will find, these women are a reflection of the vast majority of ALL humans in GENERAL, meaning both men and women, and friends and family. Just because she’s a love interest doesn’t make her special.

That’s painful because we view everything through our sexual blinders, but that’s ok.

The point here is just that the Red Pill tactics and advice and “gaming” techniques all really say more about the men themselves and the women they are dating, than they do about “all women in general.”

And if you can’t stop dating these broken women, then perhaps it’s time to find out why.
– James Mast