The Rebel’s Badass Star Wars 7 Review


Reckless, emotional lightsaber battles.

Character-driven, visually-based storytelling.

Total lack of exposition or narrative.

Star Wars 7 is the best thing since sliced bread. It SUUCKKED me in and kept me there, right up until the very last shot.

In this movie we focus in on character’s faces. We are shown comedic reveals (instead of a comedic character shoe-in like Jar Jar Binks). There is a heavy dose of nostalgia, but at the same time the movie incredibly manages the feat of drawing us in and making us care about family feuds that have been going on for years before we are introduced to them.

The characters in this movie…are HUMAN. They are HUMAN BEINGS and they have flaws and weaknesses, but they also care about each other.

There is so much in this movie to love, I can’t even begin to think of anything I hated.

We see another Death Star get blown up, and Kylo Ren’s actor is a bit of a disappointment. But you know what? That moment when he cries and kills Han Solo…that sold it for me.

This movie was so incredibly good I can’t even let myself critique it. Especially compared to the prequels. But you know what?

I honestly believe that Star Wars 7 could be even better than the first Star Wars!

The only thing I can think of to further criticize is the lack of a strong male role model. But as we see in this movie, each and every character, INCLUDING the villain are all undergoing a huge dynamic growth process.

We follow along each character’s arc and how they develop. It is fucking brilliant.

What’s perhaps even MORE brilliant is that the trailers even do this too. In the trailer we are introduced to the characters individually and their specific agendas.

Finally, I was impressed with the Force use in this movie. We see Kylo do some things that by all intents and purposes we should have seen a lot more of in the prequels, like him stopping the blaster bolt. However, even cooler was Ren getting hit by Chewie. None of that video-game shit where all Sith instantly repel your blaster bolts.

Nope, in this movie the villain has a weakness because he is not expecting the hit when it comes.

Alright, in my haze of good emotions there is one flaw that i arguably disliked, but it was easy to explain away: the rift between Rey and Ren just as she is about to…well…maybe kill him?

You could argue Ren’s will to live and Rey’s uncertainty created this divide, and in fact now that I mention it this is probably what the filmmaker was trying to suggest visually.

And that’s another great thing about Star Wars 7: not just human emotion, but storytelling through visuals and not exposition.

We see Coruscant hit by the laser blasts. We don’t even need that explained. We already know what planet that is (for those who have been paying any attention to Star Wars, that is).

We don’t need it explained that Rey is Leia’s duaghter, and therfore Kylo’s sister. In fact, I was waiting for them to tell us just to spell it out, and they didn’t. I am glad that they didn’t, for the record. IT was almost shocking of a blockbuster movie NOT to wreck this visual storytelling device.

And of course let’s not forget the stupid decision of sending off Rey, this little short who they don’t even know to find LUKE SKYWALKER. I mean Leia could have at least tagged along. They already lost ONE kid to the dark side, and now they’re sending this long-lost daughter to find him? Along with Chewie, who nobody even knows?

One thing I was also concerned with was Chewie’s characterization, although looking back they did try and that’s great.

The only thing I can’t explain is how R2-D2 knew to wake up.

I’ll have to see what other people have to say about that one. All the other coincidences in the movie, including the heroes being such great shots, can and even WAS explained by the Force. So i had a total suspension of disbelief almost the entire movie, right up until that point.

So I was a bit disappointed by the ending. But seeing Luke’s face up close and his obvious struggle, along with the tension-filled moment of uncertain motivations between the two characters of Luke and Rey, did inspire me with anticipation even though I knew the movie was going to end right then.

Am I madly driven by this cliff-hanger? No. I don’t really care all that much about Luke at this point, but I do find it interesting that she is trying to hold it out to him and he doesn’t seem to care.

JJ said “Who is Luke Skywalker?” and so of course the next movie will explain his further motivations. Will he attempt to seduce Rey to the dark side? Who is Snoke?

Will Kylo Ren be even more of a badass Sith?

Will we see Chewie take more of a lead role in the narrative?


And for the love of god, another blown-up Death Star? Holy fuck, if it’s so easy, why do they even bother to build these things? Why was Captain Phasma such a sell-out?

At least this movie wasn’t feminist. Rey actually gives a shit about her black bud and there’s a POSSIBILITY of “romance” later, although I think Rey has the hots for Han Solo. But Phasma was put in her place by a black man and all the movie’s other leads are white.

I coudl actually feel and understand the conflict between Leia and Han. Expertly handled, no explanation necessary. Dialog and body language did all the work.

The heroes in this movie are all lucky sons of bitches, and Stormtroopers are still terrible shots.

I’m just not sure why Kylo Ren or Rey didn’t Force push each other or kick each other or kill each other a little better. Or why Kylo Ren didn’t make sure to finish Finn off. Or why he said nothing about Finn earlier.

But ultimately I feel this movie is better in EVERY SINGLE ASPECT than the prequels, and possibly even better than the original trilogy. Is that herecy? Sue me.


Again, no strong male role model to relate to, and Kylo Ren is a bit hard to identify with when he kills Han, but hey. He is human too. And he is a FAR superior villain to Anakin. Or any other villain in the last 50 blockbusters this decade.

In fact Star Wars takes the cake as the #1 movie in a long, long time as far as I am concerned.

Hype and nostalgia be gone, this movie sucked me in and held me there and my eyes were glued to the screen with delight, laughter, and intrigue.

Fabulous work. Outdoes Star Trek in every respect.

I don’t give a fuck about JJ, he did great.

Just unbelievable, fantastic movie. Sold me on everything, except perhaps the CGI woman in the sweater. But she was interesting at least. Not cringe-inducing like Yoda, or even Jar Jar.

I’m so emotional in this review and I can’t even bring myself to the behest of logical or intellectual analysis. That will have to come for a time when I’m in a worse mood.

But. For now.


As I said to my bud in the theater…


Well done, Disney.

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