What you’re really looking for

What you’re really looking for is yourself.

Men play the field or let themselves go for that one “special woman,” the one who rips their heart out and drives them insane. There is often little in-between.

The real truth is that these men do not hate women, they are just covering their hatred of themselves.

When I suggest that women and men are much the same and that there is no soulmate out there, that may seem as a justifiable excuse for “pumping and dumping” women.

But in fact it is a call to stop the external search.

You will not find what you are looking for by your conmdemnation of women.

You’ve got to stop holding women accountable for your own self-esteem.

The only way to do this is to learn the hard way.

Admittedly I had to learn this my way, and I was the asshole for a while. I was rigidly attached to finding love as a self-acceptance mechanism. I can even point to the exact triggers and lifetime events that culminated in this perspective.

But that didn’t make the gripping insecurity any less hard to deal with.

No one is ever going to love you as severely as you can love yourself.

So it’s time to let the women go, and take them as they are. They are real people, just polluted human beings like men.

By all means, spread your wild oats.

But keep in mind not to involve yourself with the wrong people.

And to do that, you must right yourself first.

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